A year had come and gone.
2013 had so many life changing events ..
Everything just happened in a blink of an eye, if I take a few moments I get surprised by the number of things changed within one year!
I graduated, I got my first job, I got married and now I'm getting over first year difficulties..
With lots of things twirling around my world I found myself really down yet really excited at times. How I can lead everything to the way I dream it to be? I admit its impossible sometimes to plan every step, and I do miss those days of doing nothing but lay on my bed. Myself and I got those confessions of getting sick of having changes all at once. Why can't I achieve all of this from building a family to finding the perfect job when I get enough of life?.. when I no longer feel like there is something more to give me goose bumps? .. maybe within 6 more years or so..
why all now or never?!
But its god's will that Amna starts building in the year of 2013 the harsh way. 2013 was a long self disciplinary lesson. A challenge around fast adaption. A leap of perspective change. and a initiative of priority setting.
I changed.
Once in a very long time I didn't greet a new year with a regular plan. I greeted 2014 with wishes and dreams. I don't want as much tangibles from life as before. I slowed down that urgency of time within me. I don't need to be the fastest to get this or that. College years are over with its childish competitions among friends. Its now us and how we want to draw the lines in our lives.
No wrong and no right.
No right time and no very late!
yet a fire must be kept burning within us to move on and the ambition is the fuel.
In the past I used to control myself and my own world only, now I hold a life of man and possibly a life of children who all depend on my shoulders to carry them in this big world. I need to widen my dreams net to conclude all of their dreams too because right now what's theirs is mine. We are a family. A very supportive one.
However, the year didn't only bring sweat and tears but was generous enough to give me the greatest gift of life. On my birthday month, November 2013; I received the news from god. I will be carrying a soul within me. I had intentions of crying for days if a news like that came across my ears but instead there was a bundle of joy blown inside of me. And NO! it was too early for the hormones to play in this equation but I believe its impossible for a woman to feel total sadness with a life beating within her. For this little baby all your plans and worries get on hold without regret. That how the series of sacrifice begin within mothers..
2014 I'm not delaying my future, I'm making one right now. A one more meaningful and more happier. I will be living and growing though my coming child. All I sincerely want for 2014 is a normal childbirth, a healthy baby and a healthy mother for him/her to take care of the world. I can't wait for our memories to be written down in our book of life.
love,
Amna
