It is a matter of priorities

Things were tough the last 2 years but I'm definitely not gonna talk about that now. Since 2013, I feel like I've been in a race with time working so hard to establish everything from scratch. My family, my career path, my health and my financial status. It has been a challenge to reach that balance and build up your own comfort zone among those variables. No one will ever understand the stress, the fear, the anticipation and the sweat you paid in return to all those luxuries in life. As the eldest among my siblings I was raised to take responsibility of the house and I was the closest to my mom to understand what a home needs to nourish and feed its people. I was taught to be a strong individual and that meant not to depend on luck but on my hard work. When I was under my parents wings life was much simpler cuz .. well, they have to pay for everything we want and need, and they have to worry for us about all the consequences. When I kinda settled down with my husband things started to change. I'm not gonna lie to you but I really changed due to that. people are there to criticise you more intensely and talk about how you lead your life.  You are now officially an adult. And adulthood comes with a price tag for the independence you start to enjoy. How to choose what, and how to react to the consequences of that choice is all in your hand from the minute you declare independence. I myself had to figure out that the paradigm of wrong and right is no longer valid in assessing what you want from life. Instead I discovered it is a matter of priorities to choose to do this and leave that. However, it is not a boundary to what you can have and what you can't have in your life, I believe you can have it all if you set your mind to it.

One of my future plans was to get a car. I waited long enough in college to get my dream car unlike many girls who got what their eyes laid on the following day (no hating but its true). When the time was right and the money was there in my account, I decided to go for that expensive car I loved at first sight. I picked something that fits my personality and fits the way I look at myself. The funny thing though; I got people asking around whether my husband got me this car by his own money!? :| My husband and I do support each other in every aspect and that include financial support but I refuse to be a total dependant on him and I ESPECIALLY despise being a financially disabled woman. I know there are women who come with this mentality of "never pay a penny to a man" or "let the man buy you all you dream of" but how many of those women lasted in a happy long term relationship in this tough capitalism we live in?! When I got married I didn't marry this person for his bank account ( nor I married a millionaire btw ). Women, get real. I don't know from where you got this implication that I got rich when I got married nor how I'm rich to you in any way (I am grateful for everything I have though).

We can put it in a simpler formula to make it clear if you are still not convinced.
you see the connection?
me before no job = no money. Now me got job = I got money.

Speaking about priorities, I got this car and as a result had to postpone travel plans while you might got to  travel to 5 countries in a year or buy 5 branded bags not caring about getting a new car cuz maybe... you got one already!!! no one said you can't get what I got, money saving and investment lessons can do the magic so why always comparing and belittling the hard work of others. I really don't understand how to translate this to other than unexplainable jealousy. and I don't get the concept of jealousy when its within your list of options. I might get jealous from a beautiful lady, a smart brainer or really strong believer (stuff that you can get with money) but why would I get jealous from something sold out there in the market!? cheesy.

Another similar story happened when I got a new job. people were looking at me narrow eyed thinking I must have some sort of "Connections" if you know what I mean. At first I was terrified, "NO I swear I didn't had any connections from that sort!" Do you realise that it took me a YEAR to get my CV to be opened so they can JUST consider hiring me. and I'm not less proud to say, I blow their minds when they did.
I was explaining myself to everyone and anyone who asked, because there is nothing more hurtful to be referred to a moral that doesn't go under your list of morals. I am against those practices of hiring people or giving them positions based on personal relationships although some does it shamelessly and even brag about it. But then I was like why do I have to explain myself to those who dared to think I did it the dirty way?! if they were really my people they wouldn't even think I was unworthy of getting a position in that institution without illegal help. So I stopped and let people think the way they liked.  And even my choice in applying for this job, it was all based on priorities. Forget there is a perfect job out there, because we are always left facing a set of advantages and disadvantage to accepting any job offer and we have to refer it back to our priorities in life. I had friends who preferred being jobless rather than work for a place that goes against their level of expectations while others who accepted a very well paid places without caring if they're doing anything worth that high pay just to cover their monetary life commitments.  This is a situation you can't classify as right or wrong but rather call it a matter of priorities. 

Do you know what is scary? having people turning green bean from envy while you think you are inspiring them to left themselves up. It makes me rethink my way of involving on social media. Should I reduce my level of activity and exposure?! or shall I stay away completely for the sake of giving my brain a better focus on life aspects?! What I know for sure is that I can't fake who I am and I'm more than determined to get rid of those negative signs online and offline this year on as a self improvement priority. We all have the same amount of time to work out what we wanna do (24hrs 7 days a week) and without a direction by setting priorities accompanied with actions, life will take you away before you even knew it. Stop whining and start putting your priorities straight and work for it.

It all comes back to priorities and people satisfaction is impossible to reach. By the end of this short post I want you to know that YOU who choose what you wanna do about your own life. Instead of wasting your valuable energy thinking about what others might have to say work towards what YOU have to say about it.

Love,
Amna

Pregnancy as we know it !

Whenever a woman tells you a story and wants to add a sympathy spice to it she would say:"and imagine! SHE WAS PREGNANT" and naturally you would expect yourself to go "awww" or maybe pay a prayer or two for her and then talk about what you wouldn't do if you were in her place.

In this post I wanna address the way we look at pregnancy. If not in the world; at least in the environment I've been living at. What was hard for me during this period and what false images are being tossed at a pregnant woman every now and then. I hope my readers 're as understanding and life simplifying as me. I was never taught how to make life look easy but I trained myself to accept that everything passes and eventually becomes a memory so why make a big deal out of the present.

What was hard at the beginning?

My first trimester was the most depressing phase, and I will state my reasons why. First of all and before the pregnancy symptoms even show, the stereotyping plays a major role in defining your acceptance to pregnancy. 

Before I got into this marriage I was pulled by two group of views. One called for slowing things down when it comes to having offsprings and even suggest you an optimal waiting time. While the other group threw blesses and wishes to see your production as soon as possible as if you're in a race with time and soon enough you will be like an expired product on the shelf. I was scared to be honest, scared that I might not be able to wait for a year or so without kids and let the stain of shame be marked on my forehead by the first group. And scared that I became what they made me see as a caveman's woman with 10 kids in hand and let myself go. It was so stressful that I thought I'm gonna be a failure and an embarrassment for carrying a child right away. Ignoring the most important thing is that these kind of decisions comes with mutual agreement between you and your partner.. but anyways they made you feel like the victim of deceiving and the sinner of this crime at the same time.

I tried to Google experiences from newly wedded couples but that came with no result as with Western mentality; it was so different from what we see in Eastern world. They usually get married at an older age and then seem to take their time to plan having a child. I got no source but my instinct and little did I know that god knew when it was the right time for us. 


Through the first few months I was blessed for not having strong pregnancy symptoms. Good appetite I had, and no mention-able morning sickness .. I remember having a little short of breath and fatigue but that was it. But wish it was it for people who made pregnancy a drama! there is no adaptation break to a pregnant woman, once you know ur pregnant you gotta throw those heels off. stop walking or exercising or wtever you used to do. eat more. don't drink fuzzy drinks. cut ur nails. don't wear that tight dress .. etc. How on earth you expect a pregnant woman to feel good about her pregnancy when you made her feel like she gotta put her old self on a blind auction like that!? It is understandable that pregnancy at this point is really critical for some women but it doesn't mean it have to be a dangerous life threatening thing. besides studies shows that high levels of stress put on a pregnant woman can cause miscarriage, premature births and low birth weight! 

Inspiring story: "Shayna Richardson was making her first solo skydive, when her parachute failed to open properly and fell thousands of feet and crash-landed in a parking lot. Incredibly, she survived. Shortly after the accident, she learned she was several weeks pregnant."  When it meant to be, ITS MEANT TO BE!

When its the right time to get pregnant in my opinion

Women there is no right time to have a baby but there are right conditions. The most important thing is you're health. if you are in good health so will be your baby. The reason why I feel sorry for those women who gets multiple pregnancies one after another -although some are really great moms holding households better than superman- is that I know how body changing pregnancy is. Increased blood volume, water preservation, wider bottom, skin stretch, blood pressure ups and downs..etc. Rationally, you would need to give that body a break.  

Another thing is father's full support. without my husband, Pregnancy would be so much harder to deal with, he supported me in showing his acceptance to my new mood swings and new look and he never waits for me to ask for anything I crave for or need. Forget about having time to examine ur partners skills of handling such big responsibility, you will never know that until you both go through it. and if he ever showed any signs of hesitation get him involved in the whole journey. I tell my husband how wonderful this is to us, how special our baby will be and that there's no perfect time for us to have this angel than now. 

My baby is a beautiful thing that happened to us, everyday its becoming part of our daily conversations, our laughing together minutes as we feel the ninja kicks and an effort we pay willingly when picking up clothes we both think would look deadly adorable. I can't imagine how my life would be empty without this little angel and I can't wait to see it. All I'm saying is for me I found it the right time and so will you. 

What really happens! 

It comes Naturally. Have you ever heard of mother instinct? well it starts way before you are even called a mother. when my husband asks me if I'm scared of squeezing my baby in my belly (LOL) I told him its part of me what will harm him will surely harm me first so I'm not scared. later in my second trimester I started watching carefully what I eat and never skip a pill of multivitamins or calcium that is beneficial to my baby. No one forced me to do it and I was never this organized before with pills but I never want to deny my baby from his right of being a healthy baby. Eventually you stop wearing high heels and tight clothes not because its harmful for the baby but cuz of you being a mother-to-be you pick more comfortable things to wear and what you sense are safer for him. I overcame the rebelling phase against all I heard from different women and thought well I'm the mom who knows better and lets leave it at that. 

Another thing to talk about when spilling reality is No, you don't have to be all bloated like a balloon. People were wondering why I gained weight but never assumed I'm pregnant until I reached like my 7th month! and no you don't have to have pregnancy allergies or scary food cravings or crazy weight gain. throw away all those images cuz pregnancy is not that terrible and everyone experience at least one thing at a time in their carrying period not the whole package.

oh, that's how a pregnant woman should look like?

What keeps me positive?

I shall say knowing about all the people who went through it successfully and believing in my own confidence that I will be an exceptional mom even if I'm not that exceptional. YES, there are days where I get so moody and intimidated by the responsibility coming but you got to change the channel and focus on happy channel.

And as for women terror of gaining weight, I'm gonna get my body back. we do that all the time with dieting and gaining even before being pregnant so what's the difference now? so what if you got a line or two of stretch marks its not like they didn't exist even on the skinniest people. A nine month that shall pass and a nine month to get it gradually back, my life, my passion, my body, my routine and a new life that would be better than ever. long story short its not as bad as they describe it and its not the end the world either.  

Pregnancy is simple to pass yet complicated enough to explain:

If it was ur first pregnancy like me, you probably has received tons of advises and warnings from women. I myself prepare a paper of questions for my Obstetrician on every appointment to answer my worries and concerns. and I came to this conclusion.. In pregnancy there are things that are black and white like you can't have an x-ray during pregnancy obviously but you can take a panadol pill safely. However there is also a gray area where no one knows for sure the main reasons or the right answers to it.  We see women blaming a hospital for not taking action before they miscarriage their babies yet the doctor work is not a work of a magician. It might be the fetus that couldn't support itself or something related to uncontrolled circumstances in you body of wonders. A lady I know scolded me once for not lying down all the time for her opinion that her cousin who laid down at every possible chance she got had an easy delivery but I've seen a friend who had c section delivery for not helping her baby turn to the right position by laying down all day!! 

who's at fault and who's right? No one.

we are talking about hundreds of factors, your body type, your pelvic size, your pain level tolerance, your habits, your muscles, your hormones, your choices and even your baby himself!! yet it all ends up at your expectation, if you think its gonna be scary and tiresome it will be such pregnancy. That's why I stopped listening to other people's opinions and had great depend on my strength and being in god's hands.

This was one long post and I still feel like there's more to talk about, I still have two months to go and probably will see and experience more until my due date. keep me in your prayers for an easy delivery and share with me what do you know/heard about pregnancy in your society? 

Peace,
Amna Al Dhaheri

House Furnishing for the weekend

This last Sunday was an official islamic holiday which extends our weekend by a day I knew I won't be spending out. I was just not mentally prepared to go out and needed couple of days to meditate at home and just focus on internal organisation of my life at home. I'm not the super mom when it come to house keeping and never will be like my dear mother who dedicate every possible break to clean and sweep the floors even when they're shining bright; but I do have a sense of responsibility to lift the dirt and tide up my house when needed. LOL

if I were a magician at home.. LOL

Last couple of weeks I headed to IKEA at Dubai Festival City with a mission ( and measures of course, never ever go without those two!) to design a huuuuuge clothes closet for future investment and finally get rid of my husband complaining about his clothes right of holding a space in our closet.*angel halo* I also had a small bookshelf and a desk in mind if I lay my eyes on any good designs.

I do admit my husband and I got carried away a little and got 3 meters set of two bookcases and a desk to hold our antiques, books, paper documents and well be a decent study area for both of us. We went to bed feeling accomplished and proud to finally get what we had planned for months ago and couldn't sleep thinking about when it will get delivered to our empty room.

IKEA Designing system, totally loved it!

so this weekend I had a welcoming task to do for my IKEA purchases! :D

The delivery service was so reliable and respected time just the way I love it. Although the installation of our new furniture took a while for bringing two staff only, they cleaned their mess and that was enough to forgive them :P

Here's my wide big closet ~

I love the mirrors in the middle which substitute any need for stand mirrors and a great motive when I exercise woohoo!! 

I designed a part to be for my baby's stuff which is a lot more space efficient than having those small expensive baby closets and had it provided with baby hangers, baskets and glass shelves that are not in stock right now but will go to get them later in June. probably gonna post about it later when all is well organised..

  

and here is my desk and bookshelves!

To me this is a dream perfect desk with a perfect lightening coming in, I can't wait to study and write in this corner. The place still looks empty as there're a lot more to add here and there but its a motivating start ..

Thank you IKEA for being so creative and making our houses prettier! Now all I need is a good quality time to get everything in place in those shelves *cries* 

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri

My Wedding Dress

I finally found an online picture of my wedding dress to share it with you

Sun Flower By Michael Cinco

Cinco is a Filipino designer who started off his fashion career in Dubai. During my search for my dream wedding dress I visited many couture houses of well known designers but never left breath taken the way I left Cinco's!

The office had a white decor all over the place as if you're entering a magical ice palace and the staff were the friendliest I have ever encountered. They knew very well the uniqueness every bride wishes for her big day and they did their best to guide me through the process of selecting the dress keeping in mind the body shape, personal preference and most importantly the budget.

Michael Cinco

The reason why I totally loved Michael dresses even the ones I didn't pick is that; they all have this majesty and prestige aura around them, where many designers managed to make me feel like a princess, Michael made me feel like I'm a queen in his dress

totally loved him and his dresses ~!

Peace,

Amna

IELTS challenge

I hate those ironic pictures of IELTS students

IELTS is a horror movie to most students especially when their academic future depends on it.
When I joined university I took a TOFEL test instead and was pretty enough with my English level at that time to get me accepted in all colleges. Now that I graduated I wanted to keep my options open to possible future higher education pursuing so I decided to go through all the trouble now when I am somehow free rather than wait for a last minute chance to apply.

The challenge I'm gonna talk about is not an expected academic one but rather a challenge of getting passed harsh circumstances on the way to get the IELTS. I reached a point where I truly believe its not meant to be to take this test or worse I got hit by the evil eye lol

I tried to keep it a secret from many people that I'm planning to apply for IELTS simply cuz I wasn't sure if I'll take it now or then. Only my close family members and some of my workmates -who were so nosy to ask what I'm reviewing in my free time *pfffff* - got to know about the IELTS on my schedule.

When I went to register for the first time I took few hours off work and had to walk around a huge ancient university building to reach the IELTS center. When I finally got there I was given a bank account number to pay the fees and was not allowed to even reserve a seat or fill an application before that!:l

After work on the same day, I headed to the nearest bank which told me that an amount less than 1000 won't be accepted and that money exchange offices are more suitable for such transactions.

I went to the office which then said it won't work to transfer money to a university account I need a specific person name and turned me back to the bank I came from..(this is when I started to lose my temper) 

I went back and explained that to the lady and she asked me about which bank the account is under and so its easier to go there and pay (why u didn't say so from the beginning!!).. unfortunately that bank was already closed.. 

Due to work stress I couldn't find the time to go and pay so I was late by a week or so and thus missed the exam on January, yet I believe its for the best.

to cut the story short; I had to go back and forth for around 4 times to register and every time I forgot an important document unlike the usual me who comes fully prepared. First my ID was at home then it was expired. back for my passport and lastly the receipt as a prove of my payment !!!!!!!!!!! on the last time I started crying on the way back and bumped my head on the car door so hard while my husband trying to comfort me lol

I FINALLY reserved a day, the first of Feb ~

My sister in law happened to had the same exam with her friend and it was nice to have an experienced company on the day of exam. All the time I was praying to this last step to go smooth. 

when it was time to enter the exam hall we took a place at the beginning of the line and when it was my turn bad luck came knocking again !!! I was told that I need my ID not my passport as the lady reserved my seat using my ID before knowing its expired and forgot to replace it with my passport number instead !! I kept my nerves cool and left the line rushing to my car where I kept my ID. Although I was supposed to be from the first batch entering the hall I ended up at the last of the line =___=

there was around 10 rows and guess what!? my sister in law and her friend were at the second and me next to college students at the 10th row !!!!! still cool.

prayers on my mind while holding my disbelief from the series of bad luck doings happening at once. The exam coordinator was reading the guidelines for the exam meanwhile I started feeling like I need a visit to the toilet immediately ! WHY THE HELL did I had cornflakes with milk on an empty stomach! I was in a war wondering if there's time to go to the toilet now or wait for the breaks between each session. I took a risk and went with the first option. xD


luckily the listening part went great but when the reading part was being distributed the craziest shock came rushing !! Now I understood the meaning of "Genre: G " posted on my table, I was assigned for the GENERAL version of the test not the academic! Here I went nuts, "EXCUSE ME!! EXCUSE ME!! I registered for the academic test this is not what I registered for !!!" *freaking out*  the row examiner went rushing to the coordinator and explained the situation while I was like no way such a joke is playing on me oh god no please no I can't wait for 15 more days to retake another exam nor can I go through the long process of registration AGAIN!!

Thank god the drama ended by giving me the right version without questioning and I couldn't believe I handed in the papers and got out of that place finally

I went joking with my friends saying I'm sure my result will get lost somewhere in UK there is no way it can reach me smoothly lol

The results came in time and the series of drama ended with a big joy of getting band 8 out of 9 alhamdellah. :)

In this exam I learned the true meaning of fighting for something you want and working so hard to get it. It was such an unforgettable story that will keep me laughing whenever remembered. Did you had such a situation where you thought maybe its not meant to be but you made it anyways?

peace,
Amna

From 2013 to 2014

It is February already and life have taken me away from writing that I'm posting my 2014 wishes after one month or so..*sigh* This is a short self note on what I feel regarding flipping the last page of the year of 2013 and how I want 2014 to be without any clear plans written here:

A year had come and gone.
2013 had so many life changing events ..
Everything just happened in a blink of an eye, if I take a few moments I get surprised by the number of things changed within one year!

I graduated, I got my first job, I got married and now I'm getting over first year difficulties..

With lots of things twirling around my world I found myself really down yet really excited at times. How I can lead everything to the way I dream it to be? I admit its impossible sometimes to plan every step, and I do miss those days of doing nothing but lay on my bed. Myself and I got those confessions of getting sick of having changes all at once. Why can't I achieve all of this from building a family to finding the perfect job when I get enough of life?.. when I no longer feel like there is something more to give me goose bumps? .. maybe within 6 more years or so..

why all now or never?!

But its god's will that Amna starts building in the year of 2013 the harsh way. 2013 was a long self disciplinary lesson. A challenge around fast adaption. A leap of perspective change. and a initiative of priority setting.

I changed.

Once in a very long time I didn't greet a new year with a regular plan. I greeted 2014 with wishes and dreams. I don't want as much tangibles from life as before. I slowed down that urgency of time within me. I don't need to be the fastest to get this or that. College years are over with its childish competitions among friends. Its now us and how we want to draw the lines in our lives.
No wrong and no right.
No right time and no very late!
yet a fire must be kept burning within us to move on and the ambition is the fuel.

In the past I used to control myself and my own world only, now I hold a life of man and possibly a life of children who all depend on my shoulders to carry them in this big world. I need to widen my dreams net to conclude all of their dreams too because right now what's theirs is mine. We are a family. A very supportive one.

However, the year didn't only bring sweat and tears but was generous enough to give me the greatest gift of life. On my birthday month, November 2013; I received the news from god. I will be carrying a soul within me. I had intentions of crying for days if a news like that came across my ears but instead there was a bundle of joy blown inside of me. And NO! it was too early for the hormones to play in this equation but I believe its impossible for a woman to feel total sadness with a life beating within her. For this little baby all your plans and worries get on hold without regret. That how the series of sacrifice begin within mothers..

2014 I'm not delaying my future, I'm making one right now. A one more meaningful and more happier. I will be living and growing though my coming child. All I sincerely want for 2014 is a normal childbirth, a healthy baby and a healthy mother for him/her to take care of the world. I can't wait for our memories to be written down in our book of life.


love,
Amna

Book Review: 2 Books for Marriage preparations

I was supposed to post this before my wedding, but there were many things on hold at that time. It has been really stressful months. I didn’t have the time to update my blog much but I was trying my best to stick to the bunch of TV series (comedy ones) and some books to lighten up my mood and help me forget for few hours a day that I was gonna get married. 

I do love life educating books yet I didn’t believe in marriage education that much. The logic behind that in my mind was like “I don’t need book to teach me how to love, respect, care for my family” but man there were a lot of things to learn, If not learn then at least remind us of what we already know.

The first book I got from a colleague at work is “Why Men love Bitches!” by Sherry Argov and unlike what the cover says a bitch here has a different perspective than what we are familiar with. The writer describes her as an independent woman who knows how to make herself happy and at the same time maintain a strong loving relationship with her partner.

I do love this book because it gave so many helpful situations from women of all kinds, although most of the scenarios were common sense or I already came across them I found myself happy with the strong reminder and in some cases wondering how she’s gonna react in such situation! It will help you to keep hold of what you like and want in your life and never to let this new relationship with a man makes you forget yourself and be what she calls a “nice woman” who is easy to deceive and willing to naively give all she got sacrificing her time and energy

Things I loved about this book are:

1- It gradually guides you through your relationship starting from date one and how its enough to have popcorn for a meal so you build a solid appreciation and respect for the coming meals lol

2- There are couple of comparison tables through the book drawing both scenes on what a nice girl and a bitch would do in each situation. Its scary to know you might be too nice without noticing sometimes and how its perceived by the opposite sex is even scarier!

3- when the writer gives a tip; she explains the logic behind! For example, ….. focused lots of her efforts to explain why its important to have a job of your own and that independence will not only keep the guy unable to predict your next move but even the richest men will sense your value and your addition to the house. Now before I thought rich men wouldn’t bother paying us for a lifetime long, not seeing the inner damage of image it can give to a woman.

The second book is a one I wanted to read long time ago but forgot all about it until recently when I was wedding shopping in Dubai. I couldn’t resist not buying new books and getting scolded by mom to focus on more important matters at that moment lol

Since the writer Steve Harvey is not a writer but a comedian he stated that the book will not be the same of that of a writer’s. It was simple, well organized and sweet. The book is a guide from a man to women on how to understand men explained in the shortest way possible. Through the book I loved these two facts as they worked in making me more realistic and more understanding to not expect a woman’s behavior from a man.

Two facts I loved:

1- A man is a good one if he feels good about himself and that happens when he knows: who he is, what he does and how much he earns.

2- If a man loves you, he will: give you a title (my wife, my fiancé, my girlfriend …etc), provide for you (money, food, shelter… etc) and protect you (he will not let any man harm you in any way)

I felt like it’s a father daughter kind of message and it didn’t miss a little sprinkle of his sense of humor. It’s a nice addition to build yourself a full picture beside the previous book. And now when I have feminine doubts on whether my husband cares for me or loves me I just remember those guidelines and drift away from all this negativity lol.

From my personal view, these two books are just a basic start for anyone. There are hundred of ways to learn and educate yourself and you have to pick the most comfortable ones for you, ones you think are interesting and will add to your balance of information. All in all, try to read books and learn from life as it’s the best teacher you will ever encounter and never take advices from people who are not professional in family relationships, these are serious stuff and we should handle them in a more serious mindset. 

And remember, marriage education still goes on even after getting married :)

Interesting fact from Women's Day.com : "Wedding and engagement rings have been worn on the fourth finger of the left hand since ancient times. The Romans believed a vein in this particular finger, called "vena amoris" (a.k.a. the "vein of love"), leads directly to the heart."

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri

Out of the closet before my wedding

I don’t know how I found the time to write down this post.. to be fair its not the time that is too tight for the bride it’s the mind’s capacity of productivity and creativity.

I barely push myself to write in a wedding diary I keep in my handbag so I won’t regret not writing it down one day.

Writing feels so good and now that I didn’t write for a while I don’t find a pleasure in life events as I used to ..

People has been the hardest part in my pre-wedding period. Its not that I care to make changes to please them but they certainly do affect your mood A LOT!

I really want to apologize for what you’re gonna read down there, unlike me it’s a bit negative but I can’t, I can’t, I just can’t keep it to myself or else I’ll go crazy. Its torturing psychologically as if physically is not enough.

So PEOPLE. Somehow you are their topic to discuss when they're out of topics, which is so irritating because you use people’s company to forget about the wedding stress and all they give you is another suggestions on how to get more stressed. I particularly hate it when they ask about private stuff like how much you spent or what EXACTLY that you bought with all that money.

Married and Divorced people

They always act like the wise ones. If you saw one I hope ur fit enough to do an air flip and hide behind the nearest wall. They don’t just give you an advice to follow they force it on you! BAMMM!!

"oh I’m sorry but maybe I do wanna share everything with my husband or oh no a hair mist is not necessary for a living I wonder if he will even notice it!"

you wanna hear something funny?! The most shocking lie I heard in my life from them was: “YOU WILL NOT HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING AFTER MARRIAGE!” I can’t wait to check it myself, I mean of course I won’t have time for the likes of you! but won’t I have time to shower? to drive? to eat? to chitchat? to visit? to write? Don’t you think its too much for 24hr to say its not enough? Sorry panda its you who didn’t find time and set priorities not all the brides!

The other half who are not married yet

A bride is a target for their hopes and dreams without realizing I’m not their little dreams-come-true fairy nor that the world is cheap enough to fulfill all their suggestions. Its sweet I know but please don’t show me that disbelief shocking “OH” face when I disagree with you. I understand no one realizes it as much as the one with money and time in hand to divide. Few years back, I planned must-buy lists for my future marriage and laughed at some money managing faults ...but now I understand! I know that some stuff you will be able to cover financially and timely but others you will let go or wish they come as you’ve always wished for.

Someone: “you should go get 6 branded bags, write them down: Channel, LV, Gucci, Givency...”

Me: ”Ummm well, I got Coach handbag”

Someone: ”OH MY GOD your not gonna get the rest? You can’t you’re a brideeee!”

Me: ”well.. ummm.. I don’t …know” awkward

NO NO NOOOO!! I don’t care about other brides' shopping rituals I’m not gonna waste huge amount of money over branded bags that can take up to ¼ of my salary each. I might buy one or two but never more than that at one time!

Not to mention that yes; some people still don't see through brands to care about what ur carrying! 

False predictions

I dislike people who try to be nice by guessing your emotions from your tired face.

Someone: “Dear you are thinking too much about the wedding? RELAAAAX!”

Me: ”No ..I’m not, its just lack of….”

(interrupting) Someone: ”YOU know its just one night celebration then you will regret all the worry for nothing”

Me: ”Nooooo its not like that!”

Someone: ”May god help you sweety”

Me talking to myself: ”oh why bother open my mouth?” walks away

Geeeeez people, trust me this is in no way a good way to start a conversation OR show sympathy towards a bride. You’re just driving her towards frustration when all she had on her mind that morning is to do well and get the wedding stuff on hold for once.

Prayers come true

Prayers are great as we believe its heard by god who understands us more than anyone else. However, people can even ruin this one faith rope we have. If you wanna pray for someone let it be a rational decent prayer. And always never wish for something jokingly cuz it might be fulfilled! When a bride gets a prayer like:

- “By god’s will you will get kids as soon as possible!! AMEEN!” or 

- "May we get to see your 10 kids" 

Maybeeee they think there’s some magical dust on it that would make a young soon to-be-bride get motherhood emotions flowing and go like “awwww I can’t wait to be a mother! I wish my wedding was earlier!!! And you to go to heaven for being so sweet”. 

Seriously! we can’t handle the drama of being in front of more than 500 people not to mention the fear of starting a new life with a new guy as a couple and you are bringing a third person into the count!?

I’m not against having those lil angels or anything but every topic has a proper time. Pray for happiness pray for wealth pray for health pray for everlasting love!!!

Questions before a week

Another important question that I’ve been asked 100 times when the wedding was less than a week near: “How is your spirit? How do you feel?”

do you really wanna know how it feels?

I don’t feel anything. Seriously my feelings are numb since two weeks now. I don’t think about the wedding fears and I don’t think about any other stuff too. Its really devastating to live with no purpose waiting for that day. I closed my door of listening to nosy questions and I started ignoring everyone because what I have is more major than anything else in my entire life. I’m focusing my efforts not to lose me around this mess when its so hard not to. I’m not sure but I think my emotions will awaken on the day I walk down the aisle lol

I started eating chocolate like a fat kid and I get these urges to argue with my husband over every word that comes out of his mouth but I held back (thank god he is miles away lol) and I certainly get into fights with each and every member of my family, I do scare myself sometimes. LOL

I do not wanna whine about how hard it was to keep myself together but really the fewer the people who knows about your wedding till the last minute the better.

Readers please take this with a sense of humor I can’t accept any more advising and directing about how I should feel or what should I say when all I need is to write about it. And please please pleasssse don’t be one of those people who gives a bride a hard time unless she asked for it herself. Life, marriages, love, mistakes, lessons and everything else comes by nature to everyone of us we don’t need someone to give us a cheat book. I said it to my husband once and I’m saying it to you too: “Don’t listen to others' life story,  give us a chance to build ours and take the best out of both”.

Ahhhh it feels much better .. wish me luck in my big day, gotta go try and get some beauty sleep 

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri