Out of the closet before my wedding

I don’t know how I found the time to write down this post.. to be fair its not the time that is too tight for the bride it’s the mind’s capacity of productivity and creativity.

I barely push myself to write in a wedding diary I keep in my handbag so I won’t regret not writing it down one day.

Writing feels so good and now that I didn’t write for a while I don’t find a pleasure in life events as I used to ..

People has been the hardest part in my pre-wedding period. Its not that I care to make changes to please them but they certainly do affect your mood A LOT!

I really want to apologize for what you’re gonna read down there, unlike me it’s a bit negative but I can’t, I can’t, I just can’t keep it to myself or else I’ll go crazy. Its torturing psychologically as if physically is not enough.

So PEOPLE. Somehow you are their topic to discuss when they're out of topics, which is so irritating because you use people’s company to forget about the wedding stress and all they give you is another suggestions on how to get more stressed. I particularly hate it when they ask about private stuff like how much you spent or what EXACTLY that you bought with all that money.

Married and Divorced people

They always act like the wise ones. If you saw one I hope ur fit enough to do an air flip and hide behind the nearest wall. They don’t just give you an advice to follow they force it on you! BAMMM!!

"oh I’m sorry but maybe I do wanna share everything with my husband or oh no a hair mist is not necessary for a living I wonder if he will even notice it!"

you wanna hear something funny?! The most shocking lie I heard in my life from them was: “YOU WILL NOT HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING AFTER MARRIAGE!” I can’t wait to check it myself, I mean of course I won’t have time for the likes of you! but won’t I have time to shower? to drive? to eat? to chitchat? to visit? to write? Don’t you think its too much for 24hr to say its not enough? Sorry panda its you who didn’t find time and set priorities not all the brides!

The other half who are not married yet

A bride is a target for their hopes and dreams without realizing I’m not their little dreams-come-true fairy nor that the world is cheap enough to fulfill all their suggestions. Its sweet I know but please don’t show me that disbelief shocking “OH” face when I disagree with you. I understand no one realizes it as much as the one with money and time in hand to divide. Few years back, I planned must-buy lists for my future marriage and laughed at some money managing faults ...but now I understand! I know that some stuff you will be able to cover financially and timely but others you will let go or wish they come as you’ve always wished for.

Someone: “you should go get 6 branded bags, write them down: Channel, LV, Gucci, Givency...”

Me: ”Ummm well, I got Coach handbag”

Someone: ”OH MY GOD your not gonna get the rest? You can’t you’re a brideeee!”

Me: ”well.. ummm.. I don’t …know” awkward

NO NO NOOOO!! I don’t care about other brides' shopping rituals I’m not gonna waste huge amount of money over branded bags that can take up to ¼ of my salary each. I might buy one or two but never more than that at one time!

Not to mention that yes; some people still don't see through brands to care about what ur carrying! 

False predictions

I dislike people who try to be nice by guessing your emotions from your tired face.

Someone: “Dear you are thinking too much about the wedding? RELAAAAX!”

Me: ”No ..I’m not, its just lack of….”

(interrupting) Someone: ”YOU know its just one night celebration then you will regret all the worry for nothing”

Me: ”Nooooo its not like that!”

Someone: ”May god help you sweety”

Me talking to myself: ”oh why bother open my mouth?” walks away

Geeeeez people, trust me this is in no way a good way to start a conversation OR show sympathy towards a bride. You’re just driving her towards frustration when all she had on her mind that morning is to do well and get the wedding stuff on hold for once.

Prayers come true

Prayers are great as we believe its heard by god who understands us more than anyone else. However, people can even ruin this one faith rope we have. If you wanna pray for someone let it be a rational decent prayer. And always never wish for something jokingly cuz it might be fulfilled! When a bride gets a prayer like:

- “By god’s will you will get kids as soon as possible!! AMEEN!” or 

- "May we get to see your 10 kids" 

Maybeeee they think there’s some magical dust on it that would make a young soon to-be-bride get motherhood emotions flowing and go like “awwww I can’t wait to be a mother! I wish my wedding was earlier!!! And you to go to heaven for being so sweet”. 

Seriously! we can’t handle the drama of being in front of more than 500 people not to mention the fear of starting a new life with a new guy as a couple and you are bringing a third person into the count!?

I’m not against having those lil angels or anything but every topic has a proper time. Pray for happiness pray for wealth pray for health pray for everlasting love!!!

Questions before a week

Another important question that I’ve been asked 100 times when the wedding was less than a week near: “How is your spirit? How do you feel?”

do you really wanna know how it feels?

I don’t feel anything. Seriously my feelings are numb since two weeks now. I don’t think about the wedding fears and I don’t think about any other stuff too. Its really devastating to live with no purpose waiting for that day. I closed my door of listening to nosy questions and I started ignoring everyone because what I have is more major than anything else in my entire life. I’m focusing my efforts not to lose me around this mess when its so hard not to. I’m not sure but I think my emotions will awaken on the day I walk down the aisle lol

I started eating chocolate like a fat kid and I get these urges to argue with my husband over every word that comes out of his mouth but I held back (thank god he is miles away lol) and I certainly get into fights with each and every member of my family, I do scare myself sometimes. LOL

I do not wanna whine about how hard it was to keep myself together but really the fewer the people who knows about your wedding till the last minute the better.

Readers please take this with a sense of humor I can’t accept any more advising and directing about how I should feel or what should I say when all I need is to write about it. And please please pleasssse don’t be one of those people who gives a bride a hard time unless she asked for it herself. Life, marriages, love, mistakes, lessons and everything else comes by nature to everyone of us we don’t need someone to give us a cheat book. I said it to my husband once and I’m saying it to you too: “Don’t listen to others' life story,  give us a chance to build ours and take the best out of both”.

Ahhhh it feels much better .. wish me luck in my big day, gotta go try and get some beauty sleep 

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri