I'm getting married!

I'm engaged soon to be married !

I didn't wanna let myself write anything about it till I got my time and experience the trip of being in an arranged marriage. In my country, its almost always arranged marriages as its believed  to be the best religiously and socially. Something I wouldn't dream to end up with no matter how right it seemed because I'm this stubborn woman, but it all just happen in what i call a blink of an eye!

I know deep down it was meant to be with this particular guy when they told me about him but I wanted to be the miracle that goes against fate and with the denial it just brought me more misery and a lot more depressing days I could ever handle.

I was so busy asking life why without getting an answer back as if the other side which always guided me in everything and I MEAN everything went mute for the first time!

Struggling for couple of months I finally decided "for once in my life I will close my eyes and let god take the wheel if I'm not driving I know god will not let us crash". I'm really envious of all those women around the world who survived an arranged marriage with a relaxed mind to a very beautiful beginnings, to be honest I still didn't reach that state nor do I get it. I see marriages as life sharing and joint responsibility from both parties.. I want my marriage life to be the one I picked when I know I can handle it!

I admit however, I was from thereafter learning 1- how to love a stranger like a total teenage girl all over again and 2- how to truly place your faith into much greater powers in the universe. I wanted to be like those women who took life easy before I kill myself with my complexity.

A person whose obsessed with leading his own life though couldn't stand still in one corner; she would shamefully and secretly admit that she placed few tests along the way for the man of her future and god she was so annoyed every time he passed one haha

"if he's not an old fashioned he will bring that, and if he is a gentleman he will arrange that" - he did all.

I think I had few shots with fate before yet all ended up because of fate itself so maybe when fate offers the hand you should take it. I know very well that matching couples made in heaven will meet somehow and its just the mean that differs to everyone, whether its the guy next to you or the one you met on an airplane YOU WILL FIND EACH OTHER just add some fairy dust to your story and believe it will happen. And despite everything do not try to tailor others story into yours because it will end up ugly and unfitting! I tried to seek advices and opinions and they all added to my stress credit!

And from what I notice a matched couple doesn't have to bring each other happiness but one of them will be a mercy on the other, they two will feel the special bond whether they hurt or satisfy each other so when I'm jumping into this I'm not aiming too high nor too low.

I know life is not all pink and I wanna take it slow and rational knowing that.

A life after marriage will never be the same for me or him it takes mountains of courage but maybe its time to let go of my bachelor life for a greater joy that only this marriage can offer me.. if not it will only be another chance to learn and grow up.

Once I started getting to know my husband I was surprised by the magical work done over our relationship I thank god that I found a person who represents the inner true me not what I always wanted to be ... he will be the closest to understand me when the masks falls down and I go back to my real form..

The amount of love he holds in his heart for his wife-to-be startled me.. a woman like me would need more time to digest a new love, but that I found totally normal maybe a bit relaxing to know how ready he is for this on my behalf, I will stay there and listen to what he has to say for days since he can speak his heart now.. Until one day I will suddenly wake up with a beating heart saying he is the one I wanna walk miles with.

This is not gonna be a long post because I'm not done yet, my heart is a mess my mind is messier.
Maybe we are too young maybe we are making a mistake but maybe its the right time and the right thing to do too..
please include me in your prayers for this marriage to be 

My one and only ♥

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri