Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Stand up for yourself





Have you ever been to bed at the end of the day and were absorbed by guilt? That guilt rushing towards you holding “I should’ve said that” flag. This is a huge debate point in our regular talks. We talk about how people misunderstood us, how they hurt our feelings or how we are sure they meant no good with what appears to be an innocent question they’ve asked.

My mother is the kindest person on earth, I believe that trait and her smile are the reasons she is found attractive by strangers she encounters in her life. She came from a family that values virtues over materials and they believe in what I call the "sacrifice mentality". If you love someone you would go as far as sacrificing your all for them. You give without waiting for return because if that tells the world something it tells it how well raised and how sophisticated person you are. I believe this kind of thinking is beautiful and rare in today’s world. Being beautiful doesn’t mean it is suitable for all ages and all kinds of encounters. Al Ain as a small town is growing rapidly not just  in terms of modernity but in culture and way of thinking as well. Never the less, if each of us looked inside their houses we will still find traces of those people who were raised on the sacrificing mentality. Me myself had dealt with many troubles being truly influence by my mother’s kindness and following her leads. To listen to those older than you and never disagree, to always be kind and generous to others even if that was on your own comfort account, and to never return back the abuse by another abuse.

What our parents forgot

What our parents forgot to answer is how irrational it is to treat different  people with a single way. We start wondering why the same inputs would give us a different output each time. Eventually, we come back to the faulty conclusion of “Maybe it’s Me.”.  How many times in your lifetime you blamed yourself for a friendship that fell apart or for being mistreated after paying good or maybe not getting the situation right when everything else tells you;  you did the right thing? When the processing of your inputs is giving you unwanted outputs that’s a sign you need a different inputs to try with. (Excuse my technical terms I came from a technical background)

Social Intelligence

I’m here to assure you sometimes it is not your fault. You need to learn how to stand up for yourself especially if what you’re doing is right ethically and legally. In another words, you have to make sure that you 're not harming anyone around you in any way but still receive this kind of treatment. We need to learn what we once thought a bad person’s habit. We need to be SELFISH for ourselves once in a while.

People like my mom should not be underestimated. In fact those people have a very high emotional intelligence with clear self-awareness and empathy. They can easily read your facial expressions and know when to interfere or step back. However, a newer branch of intelligence was identified called the Social intelligence. Social Intelligence or as some prefer to call it “ people skill”; is about how you can smartly deal with your social life situations and how to interact with various types of personalities. It can be considered as a complementary to the emotional intelligence you already own, but they are not the same. Educating yourself on such topics can really widen you horizon and polish your ability to adapt in the vast moving world. And identifying such intelligence by psychologists shows how important it is to not just be the social beings we were born to be; but to be masters of the regular act of "socialising" in order to excel.


To Talk

We don’t realize how crazily social we are as creatures. We talk to people from different languages with different background and we learn how to analyze emotions and situations and act upon them. That’s a huge task in hand, but we do it as easily as breathing or drinking water and we would expect a clear communication without clashes or misunderstandings!? That’s way too optimistic! yet the issue can be resolved by simply talking and clarifying your point. If you don’t understand even a small part of the way a person acts never give the implication to the other side that you got it. Stop them to ask for further explanation. No one thinks it’s smart to be able to guess what people think inside their heads nor do they want to hear a yes when you mean a No. And NO one will refuse to rephrase his/her message to you unless that person is babbling about useless stuff and sees no benefit of transmitting the right message. I really regret standing in a middle of a foreign joke once and thinking it was ok and I should be more easy going. I did my part and asked for explanation but I was given some shallow answer and more laughs. It was hurtful and I should’ve said well you know what! A joke in a language that you don’t understand is not a funny joke and I wouldn’t accept to be treated that way. In my undergrad years, saying Yes when I meant No put me in a lot of trouble. I used to nod for the instructor when he checked if we got the topic, because I knew I could get it if I went through it at home. I always ended up wasting hours and nerves over one part I couldn’t get when asking was so much easier. Guess we have to live those moments to learn.

How someone I know did it

One of my workmates is a late thirties lady, she is really friendly and has a large network of communications which always wows me. I tend to sit with her in our free time to discuss issues around self-development and weird situations we faced during the week. I love how our talks takes a critical turn and goes as deep as analyzing the psychologies behind. She shared a confession with me that if there’s one thing she regrets doing for over a decade or so; it would be not speaking up for herself and sacrificing most of her energy and family time to others. People who she was going against herself for left her/never even remembered her at the peak of her relationship crisis. And what she made her mind to do this year is to revalue her relationships and be honest and most importantly transparent about her needs. She started talking her mind and she lost many people accordingly but those people didn't left that huge impact she thought they own on her life. What was more rewarding in speaking up was the people who appreciated her presence in their lives in first place, they had more of her attention and she got a hand full of their positivity.

Final word

I don’t ask you to be aggressive nor do I ask you to lower your standards. There is nothing more nobel than modesty and forgiveness but I ask you to protect yourself in a smart way so you keep your rights and dignity safe. We are lucky to have parents to correct our actions and clean community that brought us up to be the sophisticated grown-ups we are now. However, you need to acknowledge the fact that not everyone took the right turn on his way to adulthood. Some come loaded with hatred, greed, fear or trust issues while others come flying over their dreams, hopes, ambitions and kindness. Stop complaining of how they once treated you and start enforcing the way you want to be treated by and a step towards that starts with speaking your mind or as the topic suggests standing up for yourself.

Love,

Amna




  

Monday, March 2, 2015

It is a matter of priorities



Things were tough the last 2 years but I'm definitely not gonna talk about that now. Since 2013, I feel like I've been in a race with time working so hard to establish everything from scratch. My family, my career path, my health and my financial status. It has been a challenge to reach that balance and build up your own comfort zone among those variables. No one will ever understand the stress, the fear, the anticipation and the sweat you paid in return to all those luxuries in life. As the eldest among my siblings I was raised to take responsibility of the house and I was the closest to my mom to understand what a home needs to nourish and feed its people. I was taught to be a strong individual and that meant not to depend on luck but on my hard work. When I was under my parents wings life was much simpler cuz .. well, they have to pay for everything we want and need, and they have to worry for us about all the consequences. When I kinda settled down with my husband things started to change. I'm not gonna lie to you but I really changed due to that. people are there to criticise you more intensely and talk about how you lead your life.  You are now officially an adult. And adulthood comes with a price tag for the independence you start to enjoy. How to choose what, and how to react to the consequences of that choice is all in your hand from the minute you declare independence. I myself had to figure out that the paradigm of wrong and right is no longer valid in assessing what you want from life. Instead I discovered it is a matter of priorities to choose to do this and leave that. However, it is not a boundary to what you can have and what you can't have in your life, I believe you can have it all if you set your mind to it.

One of my future plans was to get a car. I waited long enough in college to get my dream car unlike many girls who got what their eyes laid on the following day (no hating but its true). When the time was right and the money was there in my account, I decided to go for that expensive car I loved at first sight. I picked something that fits my personality and fits the way I look at myself. The funny thing though; I got people asking around whether my husband got me this car by his own money!? :| My husband and I do support each other in every aspect and that include financial support but I refuse to be a total dependant on him and I ESPECIALLY despise being a financially disabled woman. I know there are women who come with this mentality of "never pay a penny to a man" or "let the man buy you all you dream of" but how many of those women lasted in a happy long term relationship in this tough capitalism we live in?! When I got married I didn't marry this person for his bank account ( nor I married a millionaire btw ). Women, get real. I don't know from where you got this implication that I got rich when I got married nor how I'm rich to you in any way (I am grateful for everything I have though).

We can put it in a simpler formula to make it clear if you are still not convinced.
you see the connection?
me before no job = no money. Now me got job = I got money.

Speaking about priorities, I got this car and as a result had to postpone travel plans while you might got to  travel to 5 countries in a year or buy 5 branded bags not caring about getting a new car cuz maybe... you got one already!!! no one said you can't get what I got, money saving and investment lessons can do the magic so why always comparing and belittling the hard work of others. I really don't understand how to translate this to other than unexplainable jealousy. and I don't get the concept of jealousy when its within your list of options. I might get jealous from a beautiful lady, a smart brainer or really strong believer (stuff that you can get with money) but why would I get jealous from something sold out there in the market!? cheesy.



Another similar story happened when I got a new job. people were looking at me narrow eyed thinking I must have some sort of "Connections" if you know what I mean. At first I was terrified, "NO I swear I didn't had any connections from that sort!" Do you realise that it took me a YEAR to get my CV to be opened so they can JUST consider hiring me. and I'm not less proud to say, I blow their minds when they did.
I was explaining myself to everyone and anyone who asked, because there is nothing more hurtful to be referred to a moral that doesn't go under your list of morals. I am against those practices of hiring people or giving them positions based on personal relationships although some does it shamelessly and even brag about it. But then I was like why do I have to explain myself to those who dared to think I did it the dirty way?! if they were really my people they wouldn't even think I was unworthy of getting a position in that institution without illegal help. So I stopped and let people think the way they liked.  And even my choice in applying for this job, it was all based on priorities. Forget there is a perfect job out there, because we are always left facing a set of advantages and disadvantage to accepting any job offer and we have to refer it back to our priorities in life. I had friends who preferred being jobless rather than work for a place that goes against their level of expectations while others who accepted a very well paid places without caring if they're doing anything worth that high pay just to cover their monetary life commitments.  This is a situation you can't classify as right or wrong but rather call it a matter of priorities. 

Do you know what is scary? having people turning green bean from envy while you think you are inspiring them to left themselves up. It makes me rethink my way of involving on social media. Should I reduce my level of activity and exposure?! or shall I stay away completely for the sake of giving my brain a better focus on life aspects?! What I know for sure is that I can't fake who I am and I'm more than determined to get rid of those negative signs online and offline this year on as a self improvement priority. We all have the same amount of time to work out what we wanna do (24hrs 7 days a week) and without a direction by setting priorities accompanied with actions, life will take you away before you even knew it. Stop whining and start putting your priorities straight and work for it.



It all comes back to priorities and people satisfaction is impossible to reach. By the end of this short post I want you to know that YOU who choose what you wanna do about your own life. Instead of wasting your valuable energy thinking about what others might have to say work towards what YOU have to say about it.


Love,
Amna

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

IELTS challenge

I hate those ironic pictures of IELTS students

IELTS is a horror movie to most students especially when their academic future depends on it.
When I joined university I took a TOFEL test instead and was pretty enough with my English level at that time to get me accepted in all colleges. Now that I graduated I wanted to keep my options open to possible future higher education pursuing so I decided to go through all the trouble now when I am somehow free rather than wait for a last minute chance to apply.

The challenge I'm gonna talk about is not an expected academic one but rather a challenge of getting passed harsh circumstances on the way to get the IELTS. I reached a point where I truly believe its not meant to be to take this test or worse I got hit by the evil eye lol

I tried to keep it a secret from many people that I'm planning to apply for IELTS simply cuz I wasn't sure if I'll take it now or then. Only my close family members and some of my workmates -who were so nosy to ask what I'm reviewing in my free time *pfffff* - got to know about the IELTS on my schedule.




When I went to register for the first time I took few hours off work and had to walk around a huge ancient university building to reach the IELTS center. When I finally got there I was given a bank account number to pay the fees and was not allowed to even reserve a seat or fill an application before that!:l

After work on the same day, I headed to the nearest bank which told me that an amount less than 1000 won't be accepted and that money exchange offices are more suitable for such transactions.

I went to the office which then said it won't work to transfer money to a university account I need a specific person name and turned me back to the bank I came from..(this is when I started to lose my temper) 

I went back and explained that to the lady and she asked me about which bank the account is under and so its easier to go there and pay (why u didn't say so from the beginning!!).. unfortunately that bank was already closed.. 

Due to work stress I couldn't find the time to go and pay so I was late by a week or so and thus missed the exam on January, yet I believe its for the best.

to cut the story short; I had to go back and forth for around 4 times to register and every time I forgot an important document unlike the usual me who comes fully prepared. First my ID was at home then it was expired. back for my passport and lastly the receipt as a prove of my payment !!!!!!!!!!! on the last time I started crying on the way back and bumped my head on the car door so hard while my husband trying to comfort me lol

I FINALLY reserved a day, the first of Feb ~

My sister in law happened to had the same exam with her friend and it was nice to have an experienced company on the day of exam. All the time I was praying to this last step to go smooth. 

when it was time to enter the exam hall we took a place at the beginning of the line and when it was my turn bad luck came knocking again !!! I was told that I need my ID not my passport as the lady reserved my seat using my ID before knowing its expired and forgot to replace it with my passport number instead !! I kept my nerves cool and left the line rushing to my car where I kept my ID. Although I was supposed to be from the first batch entering the hall I ended up at the last of the line =___=




there was around 10 rows and guess what!? my sister in law and her friend were at the second and me next to college students at the 10th row !!!!! still cool.

prayers on my mind while holding my disbelief from the series of bad luck doings happening at once. The exam coordinator was reading the guidelines for the exam meanwhile I started feeling like I need a visit to the toilet immediately ! WHY THE HELL did I had cornflakes with milk on an empty stomach! I was in a war wondering if there's time to go to the toilet now or wait for the breaks between each session. I took a risk and went with the first option. xD


luckily the listening part went great but when the reading part was being distributed the craziest shock came rushing !! Now I understood the meaning of "Genre: G " posted on my table, I was assigned for the GENERAL version of the test not the academic! Here I went nuts, "EXCUSE ME!! EXCUSE ME!! I registered for the academic test this is not what I registered for !!!" *freaking out*  the row examiner went rushing to the coordinator and explained the situation while I was like no way such a joke is playing on me oh god no please no I can't wait for 15 more days to retake another exam nor can I go through the long process of registration AGAIN!!




Thank god the drama ended by giving me the right version without questioning and I couldn't believe I handed in the papers and got out of that place finally

I went joking with my friends saying I'm sure my result will get lost somewhere in UK there is no way it can reach me smoothly lol

The results came in time and the series of drama ended with a big joy of getting band 8 out of 9 alhamdellah. :)

In this exam I learned the true meaning of fighting for something you want and working so hard to get it. It was such an unforgettable story that will keep me laughing whenever remembered. Did you had such a situation where you thought maybe its not meant to be but you made it anyways?




peace,
Amna

Friday, July 19, 2013

Book Review: "The Art of Forgetting" by Ahlem Mosteghanemi


I've heard about Ahlem from a very close friend few years back, by that time her book "Nessyan.com" was out. My friend used to like poetry and had a romantic sense of perceiving emotional writings
I didn't like any writings that would mess up with emotions that much so I never dared to borrow it from her even though she offered couple of times.

I knew Ahlem was amazing from couple of lines but that was it for me in the past.

When Abu Dhabi book fair was opened (which unfortunately I missed) my best friend went there a picked Ahlem's new book for me "The Art of Forgetting" and by that I was forced to explore her literature happily.



Ahlem writes in Arabic language but her writings were translated to English
When I first read the first few pages the translation made me take the book seriously!
I didn't read so many rich english books but this one was a wealthy one
I believe its because the English text was derived from Arabic language and Ahlem is a juggler with metaphors and imageries!

So if you knew how to read Arabic I would suggest going for the original arabic version, it will make your reading more enjoyable with all the pictures and famous arabic sayings

As for the structure of the book, it was simply divided into 2-3 pages chapters that gave a proverb then follow it by an example and conclude it by lines of thoughts or sort of poetry

I like how there are quotes everywhere from different authors especially Arabic ones, those masters of arabic language too bad we have few accesses to their vintage work
Authors like Nizar Qabbani, Abu Nawwas, Mahmoud Darwish, Ibn Zaydun and Ahmed Shawqi.

on the contrary of what I thought; Ahlem was not about depressing emotions but a light guest mixing humour with well built facts, in this book she directs her messages to her friend who had troubles getting over the guy who left her by giving her calls every morning helping her to forget

By the end of the book, Ahlem placed a charter called "The charter of feminine honour" and asked all the women readers to sign it on her website nessyane.com as funny as it might seem it really asks for real commitment which is what we need to move on.

inspiring lines from the book comparing japanese reaction against earth quakes and the Arabs':

"A minor quake hits an Arab country: it totally wipes out a city and chokes life for a number of years. This is because the Arabs are inherently fatalistic. They let life take care of itself. In life, just as in love, they see no further than today. They are quite ready to die as victims of natural, or amorous disasters because they have a genetic predisposition towards mindless self-sacrifice, for the sake of the nation and despotic ruler, for family, friends and the beloved."

The book is light and sweet
I have so much respect to this author and hope to meet her one day
Thank you Ahlem for paying so much effort to left the women all over the world especially those in the Arab world and thank you Sara for getting me this book :)


peace,
Amna Al Dhaheri

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Jigsaw of the Mind



Despite the generous blesses in our lives and the strong believe in Fate’s game, one cannot keep his feet mud free in the pool of depression.
When you are content with your own life you might point sarcastically at the mourning of others. Forgetting that people differ in life scope, hopes, dreams, plans, worries, biology and psychology.
Loud arguing and confronting a friend can pass by in couple of hours to normal people but might be a big deal to others that it would lead them to shy out and hide from the society.. ever asked yourself why?




A person I recently met gave an outrageous confession of not believing in psychology and the existence of its illnesses. I was once in the same spot, I knew someone can get down and blue but thought the rest is an exaggeration except total madness which is incurable.

Yet when I met people with unfortunate cases, I stopped myself in wonder and disbelief. What if what I see is not a bit a like of what they see?! The way we simplify a math problem in attempt to get it solved, what if a grown up human being lost this formula and had an alternative mechanism of complicating matters and worse a tendency to depression or death?!

A friend talked about philosophy and the question of his life saying “what if the red I see is blue to you but we were raised to agree that its called red?! How would you know that the hue I see is not the same when we can’t get into each others mind?”  this statement that got stuck into my mind made me embrace the difference and believe it exists.

For those who think they can read all people behaviors and triggers, think again. A study shows that 85-90% of human mind is a subconscious based. A part that you have no control over and a part that drives you instead of you giving it a drive. If we assume that all the bad and good experiences, emotions, memories are recorded there. Won’t you think it will come back in a way or another? Yes it will and in some cases a person might act this way and when asked for a reason he wouldn’t see a clear answer coming. If they, themselves are not aware of their motivations who are we to list them.




Me, myself not immune against all of that. In fact these are my writings, my inner thoughts, and maybe a little squeeze from my subconscious in there. I’ve always admitted that I find myself more frequently depressed than the others, but what do we know about the others? Every day is a fight to stay happy and a prayer for the best to happen.

I want you, my reader; to get a glimpse of my happiness and save you my agony, that’s why I will always write about joy here. And again if you think I got it all easily and without sweats and tears you are not only fooling yourself, but you are underestimating the life holding us all. When I started to be independent, I had to shed a tear at each and every step I took until I reached my place. Life changes in a matter of seconds, it can be unbearable and yet excitingly livable at another day. Its how we deal with it that differentiate us.

In this century, it is sometimes understandable to act cold and mean assuming everyone is not willing to compromise and not worth the chance of letting them in anyway.. So we hurt, judge and avoid. Its such a shame that such violent acts are so welcomed and applauded for while the reverse is a signature of weakness and stupidity on the face of the beholder. Later when the good is disgraced and the bad appraised they wonder why many are committing suicide, many are lying in hospitals and mostly are living dead.

“Live as a Noble in your own land rather than a badass in theirs because they will not be your loyalists in both ways.”

Another important view to look at is Destiny, we were giving things in life and obviously its your choice to manipulate them, yet sometimes fate stands in the way of controlling what seems easily controllable. One day I was having dinner with a friend when all of a sudden a little mentally disabled girl jumped on my French fries because she was hungry. I was so damn scared but convinced myself that she meant no harm and kept watching. When her mother came to apologize we totally lost our appetite although we were starving and so excited for the meal earlier. She touched our hearts. She was living in her own world disturbing the tables of other people without knowing much other than it’s a food to reach your hands for with a smile. I didn’t think life was hard on the little girl more than on the mother.. the tiredness and carelessness showed all over her face. God’s fate picked them to suffer on earth may they be blessed with heavens afterwards. When you are in such position tell me how would you hold it together? Tell me is this a condition you can get over with sessions of rehab? And aren’t you lucky enough to understand my message to you?!
  
And if this doesn’t move you to look around and respect the majesty of life diversity in creation, look back at our prophet Mohammed testament! He asked us to fight the abuse with kind. Because a human is a collection of psyches. And even in his life centuries ago people still suffered from the ups and downs of the mind. The human can go astray from his true nature, the nature of neutrality, loving, happiness and faithfulness. And all religions came to emphasis that road to acquire those things still valid and is engraved in the rocks as long as a person is alive.  A talk in a modern church in Seoul was held under the title “ clean your house ”, stories and wise words were thrown to support the people to clean their hearts and maintain their sober minds. 

"Because we are, those fragile little things.."

Finally my dears I don't expect you to change the way you treat people as much as I ask you to stop and think. Give others excuses for what they've done, give them a chance to be a better beings in your mind. Only when you think.. you will believe, and when you do believe.. you will start acting accordingly.

“Oh dear god, I call you with the greatness of your creation, I know nothing about life, never wanting to judge your servants; I’m asking you the protection from the many they are tested by.”

Peace,
Amna Al Dhaheri