Things were tough the last 2 years but I'm definitely not gonna talk about that now. Since 2013, I feel like I've been in a race with time working so hard to establish everything from scratch. My family, my career path, my health and my financial status. It has been a challenge to reach that balance and build up your own comfort zone among those variables. No one will ever understand the stress, the fear, the anticipation and the sweat you paid in return to all those luxuries in life. As the eldest among my siblings I was raised to take responsibility of the house and I was the closest to my mom to understand what a home needs to nourish and feed its people. I was taught to be a strong individual and that meant not to depend on luck but on my hard work. When I was under my parents wings life was much simpler cuz .. well, they have to pay for everything we want and need, and they have to worry for us about all the consequences. When I kinda settled down with my husband things started to change. I'm not gonna lie to you but I really changed due to that. people are there to criticise you more intensely and talk about how you lead your life. You are now officially an adult. And adulthood comes with a price tag for the independence you start to enjoy. How to choose what, and how to react to the consequences of that choice is all in your hand from the minute you declare independence. I myself had to figure out that the paradigm of wrong and right is no longer valid in assessing what you want from life. Instead I discovered it is a matter of priorities to choose to do this and leave that. However, it is not a boundary to what you can have and what you can't have in your life, I believe you can have it all if you set your mind to it.
One of my future plans was to get a car. I waited long enough in college to get my dream car unlike many girls who got what their eyes laid on the following day (no hating but its true). When the time was right and the money was there in my account, I decided to go for that expensive car I loved at first sight. I picked something that fits my personality and fits the way I look at myself. The funny thing though; I got people asking around whether my husband got me this car by his own money!? :| My husband and I do support each other in every aspect and that include financial support but I refuse to be a total dependant on him and I ESPECIALLY despise being a financially disabled woman. I know there are women who come with this mentality of "never pay a penny to a man" or "let the man buy you all you dream of" but how many of those women lasted in a happy long term relationship in this tough capitalism we live in?! When I got married I didn't marry this person for his bank account ( nor I married a millionaire btw ). Women, get real. I don't know from where you got this implication that I got rich when I got married nor how I'm rich to you in any way (I am grateful for everything I have though).
We can put it in a simpler formula to make it clear if you are still not convinced.
you see the connection?
me before no job = no money. Now me got job = I got money.
Speaking about priorities, I got this car and as a result had to postpone travel plans while you might got to travel to 5 countries in a year or buy 5 branded bags not caring about getting a new car cuz maybe... you got one already!!! no one said you can't get what I got, money saving and investment lessons can do the magic so why always comparing and belittling the hard work of others. I really don't understand how to translate this to other than unexplainable jealousy. and I don't get the concept of jealousy when its within your list of options. I might get jealous from a beautiful lady, a smart brainer or really strong believer (stuff that you can get with money) but why would I get jealous from something sold out there in the market!? cheesy.
Another similar story happened when I got a new job. people were looking at me narrow eyed thinking I must have some sort of "Connections" if you know what I mean. At first I was terrified, "NO I swear I didn't had any connections from that sort!" Do you realise that it took me a YEAR to get my CV to be opened so they can JUST consider hiring me. and I'm not less proud to say, I blow their minds when they did.
I was explaining myself to everyone and anyone who asked, because there is nothing more hurtful to be referred to a moral that doesn't go under your list of morals. I am against those practices of hiring people or giving them positions based on personal relationships although some does it shamelessly and even brag about it. But then I was like why do I have to explain myself to those who dared to think I did it the dirty way?! if they were really my people they wouldn't even think I was unworthy of getting a position in that institution without illegal help. So I stopped and let people think the way they liked. And even my choice in applying for this job, it was all based on priorities. Forget there is a perfect job out there, because we are always left facing a set of advantages and disadvantage to accepting any job offer and we have to refer it back to our priorities in life. I had friends who preferred being jobless rather than work for a place that goes against their level of expectations while others who accepted a very well paid places without caring if they're doing anything worth that high pay just to cover their monetary life commitments. This is a situation you can't classify as right or wrong but rather call it a matter of priorities.
Do you know what is scary? having people turning green bean from envy while you think you are inspiring them to left themselves up. It makes me rethink my way of involving on social media. Should I reduce my level of activity and exposure?! or shall I stay away completely for the sake of giving my brain a better focus on life aspects?! What I know for sure is that I can't fake who I am and I'm more than determined to get rid of those negative signs online and offline this year on as a self improvement priority. We all have the same amount of time to work out what we wanna do (24hrs 7 days a week) and without a direction by setting priorities accompanied with actions, life will take you away before you even knew it. Stop whining and start putting your priorities straight and work for it.
It all comes back to priorities and people satisfaction is impossible to reach. By the end of this short post I want you to know that YOU who choose what you wanna do about your own life. Instead of wasting your valuable energy thinking about what others might have to say work towards what YOU have to say about it.
Love,
Amna
