Jigsaw of the Mind

Despite the generous blesses in our lives and the strong believe in Fate’s game, one cannot keep his feet mud free in the pool of depression.

When you are content with your own life you might point sarcastically at the mourning of others. Forgetting that people differ in life scope, hopes, dreams, plans, worries, biology and psychology.

Loud arguing and confronting a friend can pass by in couple of hours to normal people but might be a big deal to others that it would lead them to shy out and hide from the society.. ever asked yourself why?

A person I recently met gave an outrageous confession of not believing in psychology and the existence of its illnesses. I was once in the same spot, I knew someone can get down and blue but thought the rest is an exaggeration except total madness which is incurable.

Yet when I met people with unfortunate cases, I stopped myself in wonder and disbelief. What if what I see is not a bit a like of what they see?! The way we simplify a math problem in attempt to get it solved, what if a grown up human being lost this formula and had an alternative mechanism of complicating matters and worse a tendency to depression or death?!

A friend talked about philosophy and the question of his life saying “what if the red I see is blue to you but we were raised to agree that its called red?! How would you know that the hue I see is not the same when we can’t get into each others mind?”  this statement that got stuck into my mind made me embrace the difference and believe it exists.

For those who think they can read all people behaviors and triggers, think again. A study shows that 85-90% of human mind is a subconscious based. A part that you have no control over and a part that drives you instead of you giving it a drive. If we assume that all the bad and good experiences, emotions, memories are recorded there. Won’t you think it will come back in a way or another? Yes it will and in some cases a person might act this way and when asked for a reason he wouldn’t see a clear answer coming. If they, themselves are not aware of their motivations who are we to list them.

Me, myself not immune against all of that. In fact these are my writings, my inner thoughts, and maybe a little squeeze from my subconscious in there. I’ve always admitted that I find myself more frequently depressed than the others, but what do we know about the others? Every day is a fight to stay happy and a prayer for the best to happen.

I want you, my reader; to get a glimpse of my happiness and save you my agony, that’s why I will always write about joy here. And again if you think I got it all easily and without sweats and tears you are not only fooling yourself, but you are underestimating the life holding us all. When I started to be independent, I had to shed a tear at each and every step I took until I reached my place. Life changes in a matter of seconds, it can be unbearable and yet excitingly livable at another day. Its how we deal with it that differentiate us.

In this century, it is sometimes understandable to act cold and mean assuming everyone is not willing to compromise and not worth the chance of letting them in anyway.. So we hurt, judge and avoid. Its such a shame that such violent acts are so welcomed and applauded for while the reverse is a signature of weakness and stupidity on the face of the beholder. Later when the good is disgraced and the bad appraised they wonder why many are committing suicide, many are lying in hospitals and mostly are living dead.

“Live as a Noble in your own land rather than a badass in theirs because they will not be your loyalists in both ways.”

Another important view to look at is Destiny, we were giving things in life and obviously its your choice to manipulate them, yet sometimes fate stands in the way of controlling what seems easily controllable. One day I was having dinner with a friend when all of a sudden a little mentally disabled girl jumped on my French fries because she was hungry. I was so damn scared but convinced myself that she meant no harm and kept watching. When her mother came to apologize we totally lost our appetite although we were starving and so excited for the meal earlier. She touched our hearts. She was living in her own world disturbing the tables of other people without knowing much other than it’s a food to reach your hands for with a smile. I didn’t think life was hard on the little girl more than on the mother.. the tiredness and carelessness showed all over her face. God’s fate picked them to suffer on earth may they be blessed with heavens afterwards. When you are in such position tell me how would you hold it together? Tell me is this a condition you can get over with sessions of rehab? And aren’t you lucky enough to understand my message to you?!

  

And if this doesn’t move you to look around and respect the majesty of life diversity in creation, look back at our prophet Mohammed testament! He asked us to fight the abuse with kind. Because a human is a collection of psyches. And even in his life centuries ago people still suffered from the ups and downs of the mind. The human can go astray from his true nature, the nature of neutrality, loving, happiness and faithfulness. And all religions came to emphasis that road to acquire those things still valid and is engraved in the rocks as long as a person is alive.  A talk in a modern church in Seoul was held under the title “ clean your house ”, stories and wise words were thrown to support the people to clean their hearts and maintain their sober minds. 

"Because we are, those fragile little things.."

Finally my dears I don't expect you to change the way you treat people as much as I ask you to stop and think. Give others excuses for what they've done, give them a chance to be a better beings in your mind. Only when you think.. you will believe, and when you do believe.. you will start acting accordingly.

“Oh dear god, I call you with the greatness of your creation, I know nothing about life, never wanting to judge your servants; I’m asking you the protection from the many they are tested by.”

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri

One Graduation Speech

Graduation speech is something I dreamt of ever since i joined the university and planned for around 6 months earlier, I worked so hard on writing my last words for university sake. To sum this long journey up. I'm quite proud I made this dream a reality to be remembered, so here is my graduation speech as requested :) 

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Each year, we gather in the same time and place to celebrate the achievements of a fresh batch of graduates.

A graduation is marked as an ending step of a long educational journey

but this year I’d like to open it as a beginning of a life ahead!

Its simply a start of a new and exciting path, marked with change and transition.

First Impression
I still recall the first day I looked for the IT College.  It is almost as if  it happened yesterday.

How everything seemed so hard and complex, yet so cool. And with every hour with every step we took on the floor of CIT the picture got clearer and clearer

From taking the baby steps in programming shapes to getting involved in the latest research topics, and even competing in regional and national levels, we have come a long way.

Today we are proud, well educated graduates

Hardships
Roses never furnished the road to graduation; at least to those who seek outstanding and excellence.

When people asks me to tell them about the hardship level of studying for an IT degree

I would hesitate a lot to give an answer back and I would say it really depends on how much you wanna pay for it! You can dig deep into it or just walk on the surface just like anybody else. One can choose to be a small garden of knowledge or you can be a forest.

Yet all of those obstacles yielded the greatest lesson in life

If you dream it; you can achieve it!

We were taught to never say I can’t or I won’t but to replace it with I can and I WILL! And that you will never learn if you didn’t ask and fail once in a while

Where to go from here?
Moving on to discussing the adventurous journey that is about to begin as soon as we step out of this hall.

Where do we want to go from here?

What does the world expect from us?

I would like to quote Albert Einstein to inspire our new beginnings. He said: “try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value”.

Do not live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.

I am happy to note that we are already on this road. It’s a happy moment when I see my colleagues drifting away in various roads of interest to match their passion

One discovered herself in graphic designing and opened a business

And another got inspired to be a dedicated teacher to raise generations

Some appreciated their blesses and decided to be a volunteer for social causes

And many much more did stuff the time doesn’t allow me to mention

My inspiration
Before I conclude my speech I would like to speak about a humble person who gave me the paddle to move forward when I thought I no longer capable of giving more..

Who stayed by my side when the storms stroked by

A woman who despite her harsh circumstances never took away even my foolish childish hopes and dreams

A woman I couldn’t pay her favors for the last 23 years even if I wanted to

Because giving in a need is precious

Because a love of a mother nurtures, heals, covers and fills with nothing asked in return.

I am Amna Al Dhaheri because of my mother, my role model, my angel and my best friend

And all of my friends here are who they are because of their respectful mothers

Please stand up and show some respect

Gratitude List
There is nothing better than appreciating the kindness of others from the past on planning the road of tomorrow.

Because the poorest man who thinks god gave him all he is now to live individually.

Gratitude is a bless..

Gratitude is a must..

I convey the deepest gratitude and give thanks to:

-To my dear professors; those who are here and those who unfortunately left us before we can thank them

-To the guidance of our administration and the supportive dean

- To our beloved UAE University for opening the doors for us to gain the highest standard education found across the country

- To our graduates who made the batch 2008 stand out and definitely would continue to shine in the coming years

Conclusion
Finally, the note I would like to conclude with is; one of the best advices I ever came across was: money comes and goes, health and strength may fail, but no one can take away your knowledge.

Class of 2013, and all those who stood behind us, I thank you for helping me believe in this and I encourage you to never stop learning.

Walk tall and dream big.

And remember that with every goodbye comes another hello.

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri

Unexpected Interest in Architecture!

When I started my lifetime journey in deciding what I wanna be in the future I picked to be a scientist, I started going through encyclopaedias and getting frustrated on why our brain can't contain all the theories, pictures and information

I was a person who loved science in any form it came.

that trait's vibe stroked powerfully when I grew older, I didn't become a scientist as I dreamed to be, but I realised there is an alternative way to celebrate science as if it was my own!

respecting the work of others and building bridges of all those touching achievements and educating yourself more about them would make you a scientist, an intellectual human being!

working on this belief footsteps, I wanted to choose a cultural elective subject that would introduce me to a new field and there it was 

"Contemporary World Architecture Course"

a subject that mixes art in beautiful decorative pieces and science in balancing all these blocks on top of each other to fulfil its function with a lot of room for analytical thinking

and As expected I fell in love with many great buildings just like I would do to any valuable painting

Architecture gave me another angle to stare from when I wonder around the streets in future :)

My professor was such an inspiration, he visited various countries and paid all the magnificent buildings a visit so all his presentations were filled with personally taken pictures

How exciting can it be to go on reunion trips at one of the greatest building of the history

I think beside a religious building a breath taking building is as holy!

What was the architect thinking when he placed that column here and how he figured that such structure would stand against harsh circumstances?

and most surprisingly how one human being could manage to build a massive building so percisely!

Thats the beauty of Architecture !

Below are some of the inspirations I got out of this course:

Buildings: Sagrada Familia Church in Barcelona by Gaudi

if you ever went to Spain, you should pass by this church because its not just a church it one of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites! 

The work started back when Gaudi was assigned the project in 1883 and is still incomplete till nowadays!! can you believe that? a building that is being built over history and is expected to be done in 2026 !

Its really huge and complicatedly decorated reminding us of the gothic era, Gaudi made a wonderful job on every piece he laid his hands on over Barcelona ! 

much respect to this man, it will always be a dream to visit this place..

People: Frank Lloyed Wright

I fell for this man's arrogance because it was right in its place.

he didn't receive a formal education in decent architecture universities but he polished his skills on his own with a long experience and natural talent

When he spoke he knew what he was capable of and he saw himself ahead of time and space and dared to call himself immortal!

One inspiring story when he designed the Wax company offices and built a lily pad shape as a roof supported by thick columns that would go thinner at the ground level just as a stem to those pads. It made other architects worried on their stability, a very thin base column to support a huge round piece would go against the known architecture physics at that time! 

so they called for a live demonstration and a daring demonstration they got! that roof was able to hold 10 times it weight until it collapsed!

The view of the offices

I was trying to imagine his feelings watching the site workers add those weights to his structure, that could've been his career collapsing  over there not just a column but he was watching silently how his work came to prove his greatness!

"Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change."
- Frank Lloyd Wright 

oh there are many other stuff I want to share but had to stop on these two! 

Currently I'm working on a final project of looking up one of the world's expos to write about. I never appreciated such events until I worked on them and found that it is somehow a festival of architecture !

Architects from different countries come together in one place to be given a chance to build a pavilion representing their country.

and now I wanna go back in time to Yeosu expo and analyze every single pavilion I went through! xD

 

so that was a dedication to an interesting subject I took this semester, what about you readers any influential subject you took this year? 

- Amna Al Dhaheri

A Graduate of UAEU !

ahhh~ May was such a busy month..

I barely had time to focus on writing and instead worked on more important matters like our game launching and preparing for our graduation party

However, I started finding that quality is more awarding than quantity and its what my blog stats shows ( thanks to everyone who took the time to read my posts I'm really touched)

and working on that belief I'm now writing a long post about Graduation 

I must say it was a long journey in college that lasted 5 years for me and even more for others 

last year I attended my friends graduation and now I'm exactly at their place!

we were blessed with amazing 43 graduates, unlike some graduations we were all one team and on the same page. no one complained nor troubled us

Although we were a bit disappointed that we had to plan everything on our own instead of having a decent already planned ceremony but we made it and it was worth shedding the sweat!

it was almost like planning a wedding from reserving the hall, tailoring the gowns, filming the videos, designing the invitations, ordering the buffet, contacting sponsors, printing certificates ... etc.

xD

Funny situations on Graduation Day:

 Amna leaves almost everything to the last minute, I got my gown first day of the week on Sunday and I was lucky to have the gown fitting perfectly on me so I didn't ask for modifications

but what was troubling me is the graduation dress! I decided there is no need for a new dress when I have a closet full of new dresses that were worn few times only but that stupid idea made me recklessly confident to the extent that I didn't check my dresses until a night before !

there was not a single dress that matched my blue greenish sash without making me look like a fashion disaster! I started freaking out especially that I had no time the following day, meeting early in the morning then a rehearsal at 11am I was screwed but I took the challenge to go head to head with time!

Next day I woke up got my flat shoes on and ran as fast as I could to meet my professor then rushed to meet the rest of graduates in the graduation hall.. I was one of the first group to arrive =__= *phewww*

 as soon as I knew all the details of the walk, the awarding, the speech I got excused and drove back home
My mom wanted to go last minute shopping with me but she couldn't got excused earlier than 2pm so I took our crazy maid along to Bawadi Mall

The poor woman I gave her a good run from one shop to another that it became a must to treat her to lunch afterwards lol

I went to Mango and the saleswoman came around to help, I took my sash out and with worried tone I said: "excuse me, I need help. I want a matching skirt or a dress for my graduation party!" My eyes fell on a very beautiful light blue sheer pleated skirt and it was the one I got later. she said my size was already sold out but then came running back as I browsed the store saying: "Maaaam ! you are lucky we have one piece left in store!"

"its the best choice" I thought after looking around all possible stores. In fitting room I got scolded for buying my dress at last minute, the lady was more worried than I am. haha I will never forget her help and worry over my graduation party :p

Later came the shoes picking, my friend would make me laugh most of the time as our taste rarely matches! noting that she came from Ethiopia she loved live bright colors and designs while I like calm and light ones

when it came to shoes we both were speechless! It was a white shoes against a golden glittery one.. and thats when the handsome salesman came offering his help. At that race I had no time and thus no shame too lol seriously its a relative relationship "less time less shame".
I threw the shy girl image in a valley behind and turned to him holding my blue skirt and said: "WHICH ONE?" *stretching my legs too* LOL
he said: "el abyad "The white one"" in lebanese accent *dies*
and the white one I got thanks to his direct stable opinion ~


I couldn't believe I finished shopping in around an hour I broke the record which gave me another hour to eat a large grilled sandwich like a cow at home (I didn't have a decent breakfast)

later I flew to the salon and unlike that hour everyday this time it was crowded by little girls getting ready for a wedding and staring at my hair and makeup


I got on my nerves when it came 5pm and I was still doing my hair.. I need to be in university around that time to take my photos
I got dressed and went to university and oh how lucky I was..
 the sun was almost gone
GREAT!
but the wind is giving us a refreshing blow dry!
OH CRAB!

I was struggling with new high heels and flying abaya with irritating contact lenses and dirt coming in my eyes!
HELP DESERTIFICATION !!

I was late but everyone else was too, shared guilt. nothing can be better.
and there stood all the beautiful graduates of 2013 having small talks and taking photos of themselves
I was rolling in joy but melting from heat formed by too many people in one place lol

we made it to hall and the night went peaceful onward


Speech moment:

I dreamt about this moment since I joined university and planned for it 6 months ago when I was in Korea I wrote my speech while imagining the moment and for that I worked so hard to bring this dream true

I'm really grateful to my friends who took the time to review my speech and encouraged me to go for it
it was as I wanted it to be

POWERFUL
INSPIRING
BEAUTIFUL 

Its weird cuz when I got on stage I didn't feel like I was there or was the one giving the speech I remember my legs shaking.
I didn't know why the audience were so quiet I had those fears of losing people's attention but it rapidly faded away when I asked for a stand in respect to all the mothers. They all responded fast which meant people were actually listening to what I was saying

those who stood so fast to even rise my head and look, that guy in front row who whipped his tears and my mom placing her hands over her chest in disbelief.. that image will forever be engraved in my memory.
 
it was a glorious moment. My legs were about to fail me from the mighty presence of the standing crowd I remember saying to myself: "Amna Al Dhaheri what did you just do?"


After Graduation Ceremony:

I drove back with my mom talking all the way about how happy and proud she is and me laughing cuz she is more touched than her graduated daughter

we stopped by a grocery store and asked for vanilla ice cream covered with chocolate and nuts on a stick and the shop keeper came back saying "only one is left!" We laughed so hard and mom said "its yours! its fate!" The guy laughed along terrified of what the hell are those two women laughing about hehe

I watched "Friends" till late hour and had a peaceful night throwing all the worries behind and blinding myself from the fact that I'm not officially a graduate yet until I submit those freaky projects and get those tough finals off my shoulders

Peace,
Amna