Book Review: "The Art of Forgetting" by Ahlem Mosteghanemi

I've heard about Ahlem from a very close friend few years back, by that time her book "Nessyan.com" was out. My friend used to like poetry and had a romantic sense of perceiving emotional writings

I didn't like any writings that would mess up with emotions that much so I never dared to borrow it from her even though she offered couple of times.

I knew Ahlem was amazing from couple of lines but that was it for me in the past.

When Abu Dhabi book fair was opened (which unfortunately I missed) my best friend went there a picked Ahlem's new book for me "The Art of Forgetting" and by that I was forced to explore her literature happily.

Ahlem writes in Arabic language but her writings were translated to English

When I first read the first few pages the translation made me take the book seriously!

I didn't read so many rich english books but this one was a wealthy one

I believe its because the English text was derived from Arabic language and Ahlem is a juggler with metaphors and imageries!

So if you knew how to read Arabic I would suggest going for the original arabic version, it will make your reading more enjoyable with all the pictures and famous arabic sayings

As for the structure of the book, it was simply divided into 2-3 pages chapters that gave a proverb then follow it by an example and conclude it by lines of thoughts or sort of poetry

I like how there are quotes everywhere from different authors especially Arabic ones, those masters of arabic language too bad we have few accesses to their vintage work

Authors like Nizar Qabbani, Abu Nawwas, Mahmoud Darwish, Ibn Zaydun and Ahmed Shawqi.

on the contrary of what I thought; Ahlem was not about depressing emotions but a light guest mixing humour with well built facts, in this book she directs her messages to her friend who had troubles getting over the guy who left her by giving her calls every morning helping her to forget

By the end of the book, Ahlem placed a charter called "The charter of feminine honour" and asked all the women readers to sign it on her website nessyane.com as funny as it might seem it really asks for real commitment which is what we need to move on.

inspiring lines from the book comparing japanese reaction against earth quakes and the Arabs':

"A minor quake hits an Arab country: it totally wipes out a city and chokes life for a number of years. This is because the Arabs are inherently fatalistic. They let life take care of itself. In life, just as in love, they see no further than today. They are quite ready to die as victims of natural, or amorous disasters because they have a genetic predisposition towards mindless self-sacrifice, for the sake of the nation and despotic ruler, for family, friends and the beloved."

The book is light and sweet

I have so much respect to this author and hope to meet her one day

Thank you Ahlem for paying so much effort to left the women all over the world especially those in the Arab world and thank you Sara for getting me this book :)

peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri

Jigsaw of the Mind

Despite the generous blesses in our lives and the strong believe in Fate’s game, one cannot keep his feet mud free in the pool of depression.

When you are content with your own life you might point sarcastically at the mourning of others. Forgetting that people differ in life scope, hopes, dreams, plans, worries, biology and psychology.

Loud arguing and confronting a friend can pass by in couple of hours to normal people but might be a big deal to others that it would lead them to shy out and hide from the society.. ever asked yourself why?

A person I recently met gave an outrageous confession of not believing in psychology and the existence of its illnesses. I was once in the same spot, I knew someone can get down and blue but thought the rest is an exaggeration except total madness which is incurable.

Yet when I met people with unfortunate cases, I stopped myself in wonder and disbelief. What if what I see is not a bit a like of what they see?! The way we simplify a math problem in attempt to get it solved, what if a grown up human being lost this formula and had an alternative mechanism of complicating matters and worse a tendency to depression or death?!

A friend talked about philosophy and the question of his life saying “what if the red I see is blue to you but we were raised to agree that its called red?! How would you know that the hue I see is not the same when we can’t get into each others mind?”  this statement that got stuck into my mind made me embrace the difference and believe it exists.

For those who think they can read all people behaviors and triggers, think again. A study shows that 85-90% of human mind is a subconscious based. A part that you have no control over and a part that drives you instead of you giving it a drive. If we assume that all the bad and good experiences, emotions, memories are recorded there. Won’t you think it will come back in a way or another? Yes it will and in some cases a person might act this way and when asked for a reason he wouldn’t see a clear answer coming. If they, themselves are not aware of their motivations who are we to list them.

Me, myself not immune against all of that. In fact these are my writings, my inner thoughts, and maybe a little squeeze from my subconscious in there. I’ve always admitted that I find myself more frequently depressed than the others, but what do we know about the others? Every day is a fight to stay happy and a prayer for the best to happen.

I want you, my reader; to get a glimpse of my happiness and save you my agony, that’s why I will always write about joy here. And again if you think I got it all easily and without sweats and tears you are not only fooling yourself, but you are underestimating the life holding us all. When I started to be independent, I had to shed a tear at each and every step I took until I reached my place. Life changes in a matter of seconds, it can be unbearable and yet excitingly livable at another day. Its how we deal with it that differentiate us.

In this century, it is sometimes understandable to act cold and mean assuming everyone is not willing to compromise and not worth the chance of letting them in anyway.. So we hurt, judge and avoid. Its such a shame that such violent acts are so welcomed and applauded for while the reverse is a signature of weakness and stupidity on the face of the beholder. Later when the good is disgraced and the bad appraised they wonder why many are committing suicide, many are lying in hospitals and mostly are living dead.

“Live as a Noble in your own land rather than a badass in theirs because they will not be your loyalists in both ways.”

Another important view to look at is Destiny, we were giving things in life and obviously its your choice to manipulate them, yet sometimes fate stands in the way of controlling what seems easily controllable. One day I was having dinner with a friend when all of a sudden a little mentally disabled girl jumped on my French fries because she was hungry. I was so damn scared but convinced myself that she meant no harm and kept watching. When her mother came to apologize we totally lost our appetite although we were starving and so excited for the meal earlier. She touched our hearts. She was living in her own world disturbing the tables of other people without knowing much other than it’s a food to reach your hands for with a smile. I didn’t think life was hard on the little girl more than on the mother.. the tiredness and carelessness showed all over her face. God’s fate picked them to suffer on earth may they be blessed with heavens afterwards. When you are in such position tell me how would you hold it together? Tell me is this a condition you can get over with sessions of rehab? And aren’t you lucky enough to understand my message to you?!

  

And if this doesn’t move you to look around and respect the majesty of life diversity in creation, look back at our prophet Mohammed testament! He asked us to fight the abuse with kind. Because a human is a collection of psyches. And even in his life centuries ago people still suffered from the ups and downs of the mind. The human can go astray from his true nature, the nature of neutrality, loving, happiness and faithfulness. And all religions came to emphasis that road to acquire those things still valid and is engraved in the rocks as long as a person is alive.  A talk in a modern church in Seoul was held under the title “ clean your house ”, stories and wise words were thrown to support the people to clean their hearts and maintain their sober minds. 

"Because we are, those fragile little things.."

Finally my dears I don't expect you to change the way you treat people as much as I ask you to stop and think. Give others excuses for what they've done, give them a chance to be a better beings in your mind. Only when you think.. you will believe, and when you do believe.. you will start acting accordingly.

“Oh dear god, I call you with the greatness of your creation, I know nothing about life, never wanting to judge your servants; I’m asking you the protection from the many they are tested by.”

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri

One Graduation Speech

Graduation speech is something I dreamt of ever since i joined the university and planned for around 6 months earlier, I worked so hard on writing my last words for university sake. To sum this long journey up. I'm quite proud I made this dream a reality to be remembered, so here is my graduation speech as requested :) 

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Each year, we gather in the same time and place to celebrate the achievements of a fresh batch of graduates.

A graduation is marked as an ending step of a long educational journey

but this year I’d like to open it as a beginning of a life ahead!

Its simply a start of a new and exciting path, marked with change and transition.

First Impression
I still recall the first day I looked for the IT College.  It is almost as if  it happened yesterday.

How everything seemed so hard and complex, yet so cool. And with every hour with every step we took on the floor of CIT the picture got clearer and clearer

From taking the baby steps in programming shapes to getting involved in the latest research topics, and even competing in regional and national levels, we have come a long way.

Today we are proud, well educated graduates

Hardships
Roses never furnished the road to graduation; at least to those who seek outstanding and excellence.

When people asks me to tell them about the hardship level of studying for an IT degree

I would hesitate a lot to give an answer back and I would say it really depends on how much you wanna pay for it! You can dig deep into it or just walk on the surface just like anybody else. One can choose to be a small garden of knowledge or you can be a forest.

Yet all of those obstacles yielded the greatest lesson in life

If you dream it; you can achieve it!

We were taught to never say I can’t or I won’t but to replace it with I can and I WILL! And that you will never learn if you didn’t ask and fail once in a while

Where to go from here?
Moving on to discussing the adventurous journey that is about to begin as soon as we step out of this hall.

Where do we want to go from here?

What does the world expect from us?

I would like to quote Albert Einstein to inspire our new beginnings. He said: “try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value”.

Do not live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.

I am happy to note that we are already on this road. It’s a happy moment when I see my colleagues drifting away in various roads of interest to match their passion

One discovered herself in graphic designing and opened a business

And another got inspired to be a dedicated teacher to raise generations

Some appreciated their blesses and decided to be a volunteer for social causes

And many much more did stuff the time doesn’t allow me to mention

My inspiration
Before I conclude my speech I would like to speak about a humble person who gave me the paddle to move forward when I thought I no longer capable of giving more..

Who stayed by my side when the storms stroked by

A woman who despite her harsh circumstances never took away even my foolish childish hopes and dreams

A woman I couldn’t pay her favors for the last 23 years even if I wanted to

Because giving in a need is precious

Because a love of a mother nurtures, heals, covers and fills with nothing asked in return.

I am Amna Al Dhaheri because of my mother, my role model, my angel and my best friend

And all of my friends here are who they are because of their respectful mothers

Please stand up and show some respect

Gratitude List
There is nothing better than appreciating the kindness of others from the past on planning the road of tomorrow.

Because the poorest man who thinks god gave him all he is now to live individually.

Gratitude is a bless..

Gratitude is a must..

I convey the deepest gratitude and give thanks to:

-To my dear professors; those who are here and those who unfortunately left us before we can thank them

-To the guidance of our administration and the supportive dean

- To our beloved UAE University for opening the doors for us to gain the highest standard education found across the country

- To our graduates who made the batch 2008 stand out and definitely would continue to shine in the coming years

Conclusion
Finally, the note I would like to conclude with is; one of the best advices I ever came across was: money comes and goes, health and strength may fail, but no one can take away your knowledge.

Class of 2013, and all those who stood behind us, I thank you for helping me believe in this and I encourage you to never stop learning.

Walk tall and dream big.

And remember that with every goodbye comes another hello.

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri