Book Review: 2 Books for Marriage preparations

I was supposed to post this before my wedding, but there were many things on hold at that time. It has been really stressful months. I didn’t have the time to update my blog much but I was trying my best to stick to the bunch of TV series (comedy ones) and some books to lighten up my mood and help me forget for few hours a day that I was gonna get married. 

I do love life educating books yet I didn’t believe in marriage education that much. The logic behind that in my mind was like “I don’t need book to teach me how to love, respect, care for my family” but man there were a lot of things to learn, If not learn then at least remind us of what we already know.

The first book I got from a colleague at work is “Why Men love Bitches!” by Sherry Argov and unlike what the cover says a bitch here has a different perspective than what we are familiar with. The writer describes her as an independent woman who knows how to make herself happy and at the same time maintain a strong loving relationship with her partner.

I do love this book because it gave so many helpful situations from women of all kinds, although most of the scenarios were common sense or I already came across them I found myself happy with the strong reminder and in some cases wondering how she’s gonna react in such situation! It will help you to keep hold of what you like and want in your life and never to let this new relationship with a man makes you forget yourself and be what she calls a “nice woman” who is easy to deceive and willing to naively give all she got sacrificing her time and energy

Things I loved about this book are:

1- It gradually guides you through your relationship starting from date one and how its enough to have popcorn for a meal so you build a solid appreciation and respect for the coming meals lol

2- There are couple of comparison tables through the book drawing both scenes on what a nice girl and a bitch would do in each situation. Its scary to know you might be too nice without noticing sometimes and how its perceived by the opposite sex is even scarier!

3- when the writer gives a tip; she explains the logic behind! For example, ….. focused lots of her efforts to explain why its important to have a job of your own and that independence will not only keep the guy unable to predict your next move but even the richest men will sense your value and your addition to the house. Now before I thought rich men wouldn’t bother paying us for a lifetime long, not seeing the inner damage of image it can give to a woman.

The second book is a one I wanted to read long time ago but forgot all about it until recently when I was wedding shopping in Dubai. I couldn’t resist not buying new books and getting scolded by mom to focus on more important matters at that moment lol

Since the writer Steve Harvey is not a writer but a comedian he stated that the book will not be the same of that of a writer’s. It was simple, well organized and sweet. The book is a guide from a man to women on how to understand men explained in the shortest way possible. Through the book I loved these two facts as they worked in making me more realistic and more understanding to not expect a woman’s behavior from a man.

Two facts I loved:

1- A man is a good one if he feels good about himself and that happens when he knows: who he is, what he does and how much he earns.

2- If a man loves you, he will: give you a title (my wife, my fiancé, my girlfriend …etc), provide for you (money, food, shelter… etc) and protect you (he will not let any man harm you in any way)

I felt like it’s a father daughter kind of message and it didn’t miss a little sprinkle of his sense of humor. It’s a nice addition to build yourself a full picture beside the previous book. And now when I have feminine doubts on whether my husband cares for me or loves me I just remember those guidelines and drift away from all this negativity lol.

From my personal view, these two books are just a basic start for anyone. There are hundred of ways to learn and educate yourself and you have to pick the most comfortable ones for you, ones you think are interesting and will add to your balance of information. All in all, try to read books and learn from life as it’s the best teacher you will ever encounter and never take advices from people who are not professional in family relationships, these are serious stuff and we should handle them in a more serious mindset. 

And remember, marriage education still goes on even after getting married :)

Interesting fact from Women's Day.com : "Wedding and engagement rings have been worn on the fourth finger of the left hand since ancient times. The Romans believed a vein in this particular finger, called "vena amoris" (a.k.a. the "vein of love"), leads directly to the heart."

Peace,

Amna Al Dhaheri

Book Review: Married to A Bedouin by Marguerite van Geldermalsen

Over there on the shelf lays a book that caught my attention couple of times while passing by the supermarket

OMG ! a foreigner marring a Bedouin even I as an Arab wouldn't dare to do it !

she must be looking for adventure or seriously not aware of what she brought herself into !

these were my initial thoughts and my motivation to read this book

my mom rolled her eyes asking me to stop reading about women who had unusual marriages in their lives but that was exactly the beauty of it and the reason to make me excited about my own marriage!

was it bad?

was it good?

was it worth it ?!

"Married to A Bedouin"

 by Marguerite van Geldermalsen

Marguerite is a New Zealander tourist who was traveling down the Middle East with her girlfriend when they came to stop by Jordan down in Petra around the late 1970s !

Another proof that love can happen regardless of your background and language

She met Mohammed (her husband) who was good in English and ambitious bedouin she had the urge to extend her stay in Petra and fate played its magic on getting them two together despite the huge difference between their worlds

Through the book only two thought were on my mind

when she's gonna quit?; stating that she didn't speak Arabic

and how she maintained her health eating bread and sweet tea and little milk diary only?

but she lived through it all, learned the language, became a Bedouin, raise her 3 kids and lived the true adventure to retell it in her book

How a Bedouins society function is simply like this; people act based on their nature and without any formalities! seems too simple but its way simple for a complex person coming from a modern society

that what you will be living with Marguerite description about the people who lived there and I guess the childhood spirit and the curiosity helped her a lot  

The author included phrases written in Jordanian Bedouin accent which I had to read the line twice to get, but was a pleasant addition to her stories beside the personal pictures from Petra in the middle of the book !

All in all, I can't ruin this simple book anymore; she put it all beautifully and ended it beautifully too !

Peace,

Amna

Book Review: Memoirs of an Arabian Princess

On mother's day I passed by the bookstore for a new book

and there it was on the shelf the book I longed to read ever since I heard the story of the first arabian princess to run away to Europe 

Princess Salme bint Saeed a.k.a Emily Ruete of Zanzibar 

her book titled "Memoirs of an Arabian Princess"

مذكرات أميرة عربية ترجمة الدكتورة سالمة صالح

I read the translated version

Zanzibar was a familiar place in my childhood, there were songs and jokes about Zanzibar but I was so ignorant about anything more beyond the name of Zanzibar. I later knew it was ruled by Oman in the past but now is under Tanzania's

In her book she gave us a golden chance of going back in time to know the extremely detailed picture of how life looked like not only as a Zanzibar citizen but as a part of a royal extended family

specifically speaking around the time of 1880's 

Salme stated that she never wanted to publish her memoirs before but instead wanted them to be a cultural reference to her kids who never knew anything about the Arabic environment she came from, and because her physical and psychological condition were in bad shape that she never thought she would live to tell her story.
This book is an interesting addition to my entertainment list, at some part of the book I could relate to the lifestyle and understood the luxuries they experience as a ruling family and at another I was reading new stuff. Every time I read a part I would rush to my mom and told her about Salme and ask her opinion or if she remembers similar stuff were done the same way by our ancestors. 

Through the book you can sense how bright salme was. She knew how to speak Arabic and Swahili then bravely learned how to write when all women were not allowed to learn more than how to read! Not to mention that the book was published in german language at first which means that Salme mastered it later in her life.

The most beautiful thing is that this lady never talked bad about both worlds she lived in; however, she did serve a great comparison of the beauty in both sides. She became a german citizen and changed her religion to christianity but never talked little about islam teachings nor arab traditions. She was literally a sophisticated woman. On the other hand, she described the wonderful friendship she made in Germany, the difference in lifestyles, weather and education that amazed her in Europe at that time. I enjoyed swinging back and forth with my imagination trying to see Germany and Oman back in time.

My mom was so happy my talk about Salme finally came to an end haha but I was so sad she didn't write much more details about her personal life in Germany, I bet it was so exciting and scary at the same time to be on your own in a foreign country and far away from your family after losing a husband.. 

A bow to every mother who shined in the dark sky and fought back the hardships for her children

R.I.P Princess Salme, you were a true legend

Peace,
Amna

Book Review: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

Tuesdays with Morrie

by Mitch Albom

This book is a true story first published in 1997 takes the scenario of a course attended by one student and his favorite teacher every Tuesday

It tells the story of Mitch Albom reuniting with his favorite teacher Morrie Schwartz after losing contact for around 16 years! Unfortunatly Mitch reconnected with Morrie when he saw him on Tv interviewed about his fatal disease the ALS or what is known as Lou Gehrig's Disease ( refered to the famous baseball star Lou Gehrig who got it around 1930)

 The ALS attacks the nerves in the body gradually paralyzing its parts until it hits sensitive organs as lungs so you can no longer take a breath or as throat muscles so you get choked by food..and both are terrible deaths..

I was just discussing this book with my friends and they asked me about the last lecture by Randy Pausch and I said well every book has its beauty where Randy was trying to teach us how to live, Morrie was trying to teach us how to die !

if we were in that spot of as Mitch called it "crossing the bridge" how will we interact with life matters ?

The reason why this book has moved me to tears is that I'm living the same story with my Math teacher at high school. I've heard about this disease from the Japanese drama "One liter of tears" which was a piece of art representing a girl's journey with this disease till her last day. However, whats on tv is nothing like living the experience with someone used to occupy a part of your memory. My teacher used to be an active smart teacher who believed in me and always put up good words in front of other people although she was very strict in classes and that's what I always admire in a teacher. I talked with a lady I know from her relatives and she said "no one knew what she had; in fact this disease is scarily wide spread but very rare in a small country like UAE.." and still there she is with a smile raising her 6 kids mashallah.

Now I'm left with thoughts of wanting to see her again but I wonder if I'll ever find the courage to do so.

The books discussed the ideas frightening this generation like death, relationships, marriage, money ..

and Morrie focused on loving and forgiving repeating those two words again and again in his speeches.

Picture from Tuesday class

The book gave these thoughts an access to my brain

• is it worth it to hate a person and never give him a chance to explain or move on?
• My grandmother constant complain about her knees; how hard it is for someone who used to run one day?
• Family is a bless and we shouldn't hesitate when it comes to starting a new one
• Go back to Nature, technology is sucking the life out of us
• We are equal as long as we share birth and death (As Morrie once mentioned)

Beautiful piece, easy language, meaningful advices and a touching story!

 

peace,

Amna

Book Review: The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

The 48 Laws of Power 

 by Robert Greene

This is one of the smartest books I prefer to call the BLACK book of power !

While I was reading this book I felt this kind of enjoyment and motivation as if I found my guru for acquiring power! And since during university I had a chance to be exposed to the field of leadership and power it is not a foreign topic to me and I was reading each rule saying yes I did this, I've seen that and some people did that ! but this will not be less exciting to those new out there !

 

this book is not only for those who seek power but those who need answers of how things work in a world filled with power seekers or protection against power itself! It helped me deal with problems accompanying power including how to deal with those above you, jealous enemies and even yourself when it gets drifted away by the seduction of power

 

So there is an extended version of the book but I went for the concise one with around 500 pages, its international best seller by the American writer Robert Greene and shocking thing is the book was first published in 1998 !

The laws might seem really malicious and deceiving that you would doubt your ethics while reading them and question yourself whether to apply them or not at some point, However; there is a reason why you should follow it and side bar stories and quotes from famous people, kings and philiosphers from centuries ago showing the success of their tactics and methods! The stories are really pleasant and interesting !

From my opinion there's no book as straight forward as this book, it would literally drop the boom over your head and let you stand in shock saying that is actually right !

This a must have book and I would gladly refer to it for any issues in future !

peace,

Amna

Welcoming 2013 !

Happy New Year~

2012 is not the end of the world and I'm still alive :D haha in ur face you.. donno know whoever was claiming its the end lol ~

I know its kinda late but there was no way I'm gonna be able to write a decent blog after arriving on new years  to my home country 

The tiredness, cultural shock and formalities kept me from having any fruitful time with my blog

Now that I'm back on my feet again I thought I'd write a new post before January passes by!

First and before I spill out my plans I wish to thank 2012 for being a year filled with adventures and a year that is a blissful gift from god. I met so many new people, learned a lot of things, visited new places and become a satisfied calm person

in 2012 I started writing in this blog more seriously and I'm willing to keep it up during 2013 :)

In 2013 I wish to be the change for every single day

I want this year to be more organized and awarding

 and for a change I want to relax and let life take the wheel from time to time :)

so for the time being I'm on vacation and I came up with this list to fill my time and plan well for the coming year! There are many interesting stuff over the internet but I loved these the most and started applying them myself !

1- 2013 Diary/Planner

Yes its a must and it works amazingly well for busy people like me! 

technology cannot replace written papers! I find it more enjoyable to hold a book in my hands instead of an electronic reader

I can edit my notes much faster 

& I can flip back and fourth to feel the sense of time with papers !

so go to the nearest bookshop and pick your one !

Tips: 

• choose a light weight diary if you will carry it in your bag and always pick an elegant one that you will love to open every single day

• avoid super fancy tho and never buy the most expensive out there.. in the end its just a planner !

• oh and always check the paper pattern from inside, diaries comes with different style! I rather get those with enough space for each day (almost half page) and I love the maps attached at the back it gives me a space to dream about traveling to places I've never thought about :) *childish lol*

2- Happiness Jar

I've seen so photogenic pictures of Dreams Jar but I didn't like it as dreams should be written clearly in front of you not folded into a jar ! However this year I heard of the happiness jar where you can place all the happy moments you had through the year and then by the next year you can talk about and review all the happy moments in the past year !

Tips: 

• you can get the shape and size you prefer or which you think will fit perfectly on your desk. Nice cheap jars are hard to find in bookshops so I suggest visit the kitchenware section in any homecenters you will find plenty, colorful and cheap jars !

• decorate you jar with ribbons, stickers and writings this will not only makes the jar beautiful but enchanted~

for my case I went for simple cylinder shaped plastic jar so it won't break if it fell from the table :3 

3- Pictures on the wall

I've always appreciated pictures as a happy thing in life. I'm not into buying very expensive professional heavy cameras to take a picture of a tiny bug ( although I admit its worth the quality). However, I believe that no matter how ugly or hilarious you look in a picture it will never matter in the future when you look back at those pictures ! So with the growth of my gallery I wanted to keep my dear ones around instead of piling them in harddisks that I only check every couple of months

and I know I kept bragging about Korea so much now but honestly those people know how to design their cafes and restaurants with photographs, art crafts & simple antiques !

and it got me wondering why mom is so obsessed with white walls? if you can utilize the white spaces in a right way it will not look beautiful but will have a touch of personality and uniquness !

and so I'm filtering some pictures this weekend for printing and gonna buy some ropes and nails to get the work done !

Tips: 

• Don't stick to colored pictures even black n white ones will give you a sense of elegant vintageness! 

• if burning images in studios are expensive print them at home! 

• for more crafty touch you can design paper frames around your pictures and leave a little cute note !

 4- Books, Books and more Books !

We are a nation that reads, maybe the past decades weren't our best but that's only because our grandparents didn't get the chance for proper education and worked hard for their family survival. No matter how developed we get or how many technologies we invent the book is still a valuable piece of knowledge that won't be replaced.The beginning was tough with books for someone who started reading late but now its a daily pleasure.   

Tips: 

• take your time when you want to borrow/buy books, the secret to love books is to follow your field of interest. I realized this late cuz I depended on others' choice at the beginning.

• Novels are wonderful source of amusement but read an educational or inspirational book for a change.

• When you're done reading a book write a review for it, give it to a friend or neatly put it on a shelf for others to read ! 

• Some book fairs and libraries allow books donation or exchange so make use of such places if you didn't like a book you poses or read it many times !

5- Own a business 

University is the best place to test your capabilities of running a business. Of course people would say that the real world is completely different from this controlled environment but where else can you try your skills in marketing without being punished ?! After many presentations, workshops, projects maybe you can make use of your knowledge to go for the next challenge of opening your own business ! Currently I've been enrolled in a small business with a group of creative local ladies and I hope we will establish the company we dream of soon enough :)

Tips: 

• Always keep yourself inspired by attending talks about others success story and find the time to think about what you want to do after graduation. 

• If the road is not clear ask your friends for ideas you will be surprised by their responses or maybe you will find a person with a gold worth idea but was waiting for a strong person like you to take the lead !

• A business doesn't have to be an individual work it can start with the hard work of a group!

• Focus on what you are familiar with as its a strength point for you! Innovations and ideas can come running after you formed a strong basis for your business 

All in all, never give up to the depressing routine always find a way to appreciate, love and change ~

Be a person who lived every single day and tried as much things as possible than others from your place !  

Happy New Year Everyone !

Amna ❤

p.s: let me know about your 2013 plans, your opinion about my blog and what you love to read in the future ;)

Book Review : The Secret - Rhyonda Byrne

Just finished reading the Secret book by Rhonda Byrne !

This book explains the hidden secret followed by great people from old days till nowadays which is called the law of attraction. It is stated that negative thoughts bring negative things to your life and so you have to train yourself to think about positive things and focus your efforts on stating what you really want from the universe not what you don't want !

The book may seem too plain for some people as all things written are already known and based on common sense but what I think is that this book will do its magic only when you are in need for spiritual support! its good to keep it within reach but keep in mind it is a training book not a knowledge source.

The book consists of many sections related to different issues, for example : the secret to Money, Relationships, Health, the World, You and Life. I loved the health more as it was more related to weight loss strategies and it was so encouraging during this depressing process that I could see the changes in my mental reaction toward weight :)

I really enjoyed it and it provided me with really useful techniques for focusing on what I want in life and I recommend it for anyone who has problems with defining his/her goals, confidence or facing depression.

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